Pub urinal at the centre of Count Binface’s manifesto has been moved in ‘victory’

People are still travelling far and wide to see a pub hand dryer Count Binface promised to move if he was elected as an MP.

In his many manifestos, the sentient wheelie bin has often targeted pub toilets with ‘inconvenient’ hand dryers.

During his first-ever election against Boris Johnson in 2019 for the Uxbridge constituency, Binface pledged to move the dryer in the men’s toilet at the Crown and Treaty pub.

More recently, during his Clacton by-election against Reform leader Nigel Farage in August, Binface pledged to move the dryer inside the men’s toilets at The Great Himalayas restaurant in Southport.

And in a rare win for the wheelie bin, this hand dryer has in fact been moved ‘to a more sensible location’, according to The Times.

Count Binface told Metro: ‘I am over your moon to discover that the hand-dryer at the Great Himalayas Restaurant has been moved.

‘It’s a victory not just for me and the human men in Southport who will no longer suffer air-fried genitals, but also for the 9,455 people on Clacton who voted for my manifesto this summer and thus demanded this change.

‘To have such a seismic impact before I’m even elected just goes to show what a total slacker Nigel Farage is. I hereby call on the Crown & Treaty pub Uxbridge to follow suit and move its dryer, to give Londoners similar respite and to prove that democracy isn’t finished yet!’

The same cannot be said for the Crown and Treaty pub in Uxbridge, which is seeing customers come as far as Somerset to take a look at their hand dryer, which is hovering uncomfortably close over a urinal.

Owner Anu Sachdeva told Metro: ‘Unfortunately, the hand dryer is still in the same position. But we still get the odd person coming to take a look.

‘So we don’t want to take that joy from the public by disappointing some of our long-travelling guests by moving it to a “sensible location”.’

The owners of the pub, brothers Guna and Anu, took over the pub in October. For a while, they have had prank calls and comments online about the hand dryer, but never understood why until Metro went to visit.

Guna told Metro: ‘We have had the occasional social media comment and prank call about it, but we were never quite sure what it was about.

‘These men came and told us about it, and then asked to put our ice bucket on their head so they can take a picture with it.’

The pub has also received a number of Google reviews in the last two days. So much so, one of the AI ‘tags’ which is usually reserved for ‘family-friendly’ or ‘walk-ins only’ is simply ‘hand dryer’.

One of the reviews simply reads: ‘Hey guys I’ve never been to the England let alone your pub. But, as responsible human being, I request you to relocate the Men’s toilet hand dryer to a more sensible position.’

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