How Lisa Barlow Is Parenting Her Two Sons

There’s no shortage of things moms are told they should feel guilty about. Fortunately, this isn’t that kind of conversation. In our Mom Guilt series, we’re talking about the funny, relatable, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments that make parents second-guess themselves—before moving on five minutes later. For Lisa Barlow, star of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Ultimate Girls Trip and mom to two sons—Jack, 21, and Henry, 14—that can mean hiding electronics or saying no to late-night plans. Read on for the products, routines, style staples, and parenting philosophies getting her through this season of motherhood.

Glamour: Hello! What do you feel guilty about right now?

Lisa Barlow: Booking a trip to Spain without my sons. They’re both very upset about it, but they’re in school full-time. There were no other options. We’re going to take them to Europe this fall, but my husband, John Barlow, and I went alone in September and I have the worst guilt about it.

How has motherhood changed the way you get dressed?

I grew up with four sisters and my mom loves fashion and glam, so we took forever to get ready. If you were leaving for the mall, it was a three-hour process. But the boys get ready so quickly, I have no more than 60 minutes to get ready—and that’s start to finish. That’s hair dried, glam done, dressed, and out the door. If I know I’m not going to have time midday, then I need to be done early in the morning. I pretty much plan my whole routine around being ready for them.

What item in your closet is working the hardest right now?

My Saint Laurent jeans. I actually bought nine pairs of the straight-leg jeans in the traditional denim color and four in black because I know it’s not a guarantee this cut will live forever.

What’s something you’ve worn lately that racked up the compliments?

My vintage Gucci sunglasses. Everywhere I go, people are like, “Who makes those sunglasses?” If I post with them on, people die over them. They’re gorgeous.

What’s the best thing you bought this year—for yourself?

I did just order a chocolate brown G-Wagon. That’s my big splurge for the year. It’s sick.

What’s the best thing you bought this year—for your kids?

I bought something for the kids and me. Audemars Piguet did a collab with Swatch, and I’m an avid Swatch wearer and collector. I love watches. I rarely wear a necklace, but I’ll do adornments on my wrist. The jeweler we buy 90% of my jewelry from made a custom band and diamond-encrusted it. So Jack, Henry, and I are going to have similar watches in different colors. It’s got some bling on it. My boys love to be iced out.

What is something that helps you feel like yourself after a chaotic day?

I love to daydream. It is so undervalued and underestimated, the power of a daydream. I like to just process my thoughts, to really think through everything, to create more, and to think bigger. I tell my kids, “Turn your phones off and just have nothing time. Let your mind wander. Daydream. Think through conversations. Process your feelings.” That’s something we all need to do. Let yourself just lose it. Be creative, dream big.

What’s the beauty product you’ve repurchased the most?

Shu Uemura Ultimate Reset. I go through a bottle every week and a half. I wash my hair every day, and it’s my go-to shampoo and conditioner. But if I run out of that or forget it on a trip, I’ll use the boys’ Fresh Wolf line. It is luxury, but way more affordable than Shu Uemura. Shu Uemura is expensive. You have to have a big budget to be buying that weekly.

What’s a beauty treatment that you think is worth every penny and your time?

CO₂ laser, hands down. It’s the best thing I did for myself. I did it a year and a half ago and loved it. Actually, yesterday I bought a package of three laser treatments for my face, neck, and décolleté. It’s worth the money. It’s so good.

What’s your most realistic form of self-care these days?

Sleep. I used to think sleep was for the weak. I thought it was for people who were lazy, and I prided myself and would brag about getting three to four hours a night. Now sleep is my best friend. I know when to check out and just close my eyes. I have these sleep masks that I bought on Amazon that self-heat that I’m obsessed with, and they just take me out. That and magnesium, and I’m gone.

What’s a wellness trend you’ve actually stuck with in parenthood?

Red-light therapy. There’s a tanning salon I go to for my spray tans, and they have red-light beds. They’re amazing. I bought a red-light lamp. I bought red-light masks. I love the Shark one because it heats, cools, does all the things, and you can manage your routine. It gives you feedback on what you’re doing. Red-light therapy is everything.

What’s your favorite way to reset after a long day?

I love a hot shower. There’s nothing better than just standing in the shower thinking and really making sure your hair is clean and your skin is refreshed. I got so lazy about skin care since being on Housewives because we go, go, go, and I still have my full-time jobs and kids. So now my skin care routine is a big deal. I actually take the time to apply the products and use that as time to think too.

What’s the purchase you thought was ridiculous until you had kids?

Big handbags and having one that fits all of their shit in it. I’m not a big bag girl unless I’m traveling. I’ve always been mid-size. Birkin, no bigger than a 30. I thought moms that had big diaper bags were so tacky. I was like, Who wants that big of a bag? It’s so ugly. Just carry a small bag with you and put your diapers in it. But then I had Jack, and I remember getting a Kate Spade diaper bag at my baby shower. It was everything. I love the Speedy 35 from Louis Vuitton when I travel. I always went for the smaller Speedies, and now I have the biggest ones.

What’s your most frequent Amazon purchase refill?

I have a full salon downstairs, and I’m buying the pink Paw Paw beauty blenders on Amazon all the time. I hate dirty beauty blenders, and I don’t understand why people reuse them. It’s disgusting. Also, even though we own it, we still buy the boys' Fresh Wolf product on Amazon. It’s a great gift. It smells good. For girls who are on a budget and want sleek, shiny hair, Fresh Wolf is a great substitute if you can’t spend $120 on hair products every week. I use it all the time. It’s safe, it’s good, and it’s a fraction of the price. Women ask me about my hair all the time, and I’m like, “Buy Fresh Wolf. Trust me, we wouldn’t have sold it or formulated it if it wasn’t good.” It’s all made in the USA from raw ingredients. It’s restorative. Everyone deserves pretty hair.

What’s an activity your family enjoys doing together?

We love going to the movies together. It’s our thing. We all have our big cups. We have our popcorn buckets. And then we go out to dinner once a week. That’s a must. We don’t eat at a kitchen table. Going out to dinner, picking a restaurant, it’s a huge deal for us.

What’s something you bought because social media convinced you, and it actually lived up to the hype?

All my red-light masks. I am addicted to them. There’s a lymph massager with red light that sends electronic pulses through your body. I bought that and use it every night. Lymph support is everything. And the shake plate, the vibration plate. I bought one of those, and it fits perfectly in my bathroom under the counter. You can’t even see it. I use it every day for 10 minutes, and it gets everything moving in your body. My ankles look skinnier. I have a thyroid issue, and I feel so much better. Under $150 and it changed my life.

What’s something you absolutely influenced your other parent friends to buy?

I like to stay in a five-mile radius from home when I can because I’m gone so much. So now all of my girlfriends and I are using the same girl for concierge hair coloring. She makes the rounds with all the girls in my neighborhood and does everybody’s hair. Whatever we need to work around our schedule, she’ll do it.

What is sitting in your online shopping cart right now?

As soon as we’re off this call, I’m buying a Prada nude-colored windbreaker. I bought it in red, in the jersey fabric, and it’s fabulous. I’m going to wear it with Christian Louboutin slides and my Saint Laurent jeans.

What’s a parenting “rule” you totally abandoned?

Bedtime. We’ve never had a bedtime. I thought I was going to be so strict. When I was growing up, I was in bed by 8 p.m. You ate dinner at 6, you had a bath, and you went to bed. But no, there’s no bedtime.

What's one thing you’re obsessed with right now that has nothing to do with motherhood?

Renovating my house. I just put an addition on our house, and it’s stunning. I love decorating it, and everything that’s going in this new space is so well-thought-out. Everything in my house is black-and-white. I have black rugs, black-and-white art. All my vases—I have one in every room, sometimes two or three in every room—and they’re the most beautiful vases I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s my creative side; I love anything to do with home decor.

What’s the most relatable movie, book, podcast, or TV show about motherhood?

I went to the premiere of the movie Oh. What. Fun. It’s a Christmas movie with Michelle Pfeiffer. They forgot about her, and it was devastating. I left the movie and was like, “That is me. Motherhood is the most undervalued job ever.” No one wants you to feel undervalued. We just are. John Barlow would not forget me, but every other aspect of the movie—you kill yourself to make everything perfect, and then it’s like.…

What’s something you wasted time feeling guilty about that you don’t anymore?

Oh my gosh, that’s a daily thing. I feel guilty for yelling at my kids, and then they’re fine. I’ll write them the longest text message saying, “I was in the wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for that. I love you so much.” I’ll list a million ways they’re perfect. They skim-read it, and they’re like, “Mom, it’s fine.” Everything I do is to help them, and I constantly remind them of that. I tell them every day, “You know everything I do is because I love you and to help you.”

What was the last thing you hid from your children?

Every electronic thing I buy, I have to hide from Jack and Henry. Because I’m their mom, my things are theirs. And if I don’t hide them, they take them. I bought this amazing handheld video camera to capture content, and what do you think Henry did? Opened the box. It’s in his room now. So everything I get that’s an electronic, I send out a disclaimer before the package arrives. I’ll say, “This is mine. Don’t touch it.”

Finish this sentence: “A good mom.…”

A good mom will always put her kids before anyone or anything. Always.

What’s your latest “because I said so” moment?

The other Saturday night, Henry had friends over to the house really late. We let them do late nights, because I’m not big on sleepovers. At 1 in the morning, Henry knocked on our bedroom door and was like, “Hey, Mom, I’m going to take my scooter to my friend’s house….” I said, “Absolutely not. It’s 1 a.m. You’re not going over to your friend’s house.” He thought that was a normal request because Jack can leave anytime he wants, but Jack is 21. Henry thinks those rules apply to him too. I can’t remember the last time I’ve said “because I’ve said so.” He thought that was a great and normal idea to ride his scooter at 1 a.m. to his friend’s house three miles away.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.