Ever fallen down a social media rabbit hole, scrolling from the high fashion high life to beautiful bodies enjoying cocktails on yachts and thought – why’s my life not like that?
While we all know we should know that social media is a curated version of someone’s life, it’s not always that easy to remember it.
For Olivia, 31, a recruitment manager from Manchester, seeing her friend’s lavish lifestyle online is starting to make her question whether she is being sensible with money – or simply missing out.
She asked Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, for a reality check.
The question…
My best friend and I earn similar salaries, around £45,000 a year, and I thought we were quite open about money.
I rent a small flat in Manchester city centre, save what I can and, until quite recently, went on a decent holiday in Greece or Spain every summer with her.
She works in PR and has always had a similar lifestyle to me.
That changed about 18 months ago when I started seeing posts on her Instagram and TikTok of her on business-class flights and in five-star hotels in Dubai and Mykonos.
She’s also started wearing properly designer clothes and must spend literally hundreds of pounds on all the nights out she goes on.
Now she’s talking about buying a Range Rover.
Whenever I ask how she affords it, she laughs and says I worry too much.
Unless something’s changed, I know there’s no family money – so I have no idea how she’s affording all of it.
The awful truth is that I feel so jealous.
She’s living this amazing life and I’m missing out.
I’m considering putting a holiday on a credit card because I am tired of being the sensible friend – but then I’ve saved so hard for a deposit and want to buy a house eventually.
How can I stop feeling like this?
Do I just live for today and spend or accept that my life’s just less interesting?
The answer…
Olivia, your friend’s lifestyle may be real in one narrow sense: she may well have travelled business-class on her way to drink Cristal all night in a Dubai nightclub.
But that does not mean she paid full price, owns the things she posts on her socials or can keep funding this lifestyle without having a serious financial problem down the line.
Social media plays tricks on us. A feed gives us the highlight, then invites us to invent the financial backstory.
We see a flight and assume wealth. We see a beautiful apartment and assume a massive salary.
For some people that story may be true but it sounds like there could be another explanation for your friend’s recent and apparent change in circumstances.
Putting your feelings to one side for a moment, let’s get logical about this.
There are several possibilities here.
1. She won the lottery and didn’t tell you.
2. She inherited a windfall and didn’t tell you.
3. She’s spending on credit cards, loans and buy now, pay later.
4. She’s making money online in exchange for advertising products to her social media followers.
5. She’s started a highly lucrative OnlyFans side hustle or is dealing drugs (unlikely, but possible).
I’d put money on number four. She’s in PR after all.
Put your big girl deerstalker on and start being more Sherlock when you look at her posts.
Start with commercial clues.
In the UK, the Competition and Markets Authority says content creators must clearly identify advertising where they have been incentivised in any way.
That includes payment, gifts, free or discounted stays, affiliate commission, discount codes, favourable leases and loans.
The Advertising Standards Authority says an ad should be labelled prominently and upfront, rather than hidden among hashtags.
Look for an ad, advert, paid partnership label, a tagged hotel or restaurant, a discount code or a link that earns commission.
If your friend posts a constant stream of the same brands, travel companies or beauty treatments, she may be receiving something in return for visibility.
No label does not prove she paid herself. It could be personal content or an arrangement not disclosed properly.
The CMA says a brand tag, discount code or an ambiguous “gifted” label is not enough to make commercial content obvious.
Next, separate access from ownership.
A car in a reel could be a lease, a company car, a one-day hire or a vehicle borrowed for content.
A weekend in Mykonos might be a press trip or a two-night stay photographed to look like a fortnight.
These are not necessarily dishonest posts but nor are they a reliable guide to someone’s spending.
There’s an uncomfortable possibility, of course.
Credit cards, buy now pay later, personal loans and overdrafts can make an expensive lifestyle look effortless for a while.
If that is what’s behind this, then as her best friend I’d strongly suggest you sit her down and ask her. If this is a wild, debt-fuelled ride destined for disaster, then she needs your help.
Now, back to how you’re feeling about all this.
Her decisions aside, the more important issue is what her feed is doing to your decisions.
Money and Mental Health reported last year that 29% of respondents to its research community had experienced financial difficulty after overspending because of adverts or sponsored social-media content.
It is a reminder that these platforms are built to make spending look normal, urgent and rewarding.
Before you put a holiday on a credit card, use one simple test: would you still want this trip if nobody could see the photos?
If the answer is yes, price it properly and save for it. If it is mainly about keeping up, stop scrolling for a while.