A mother who said her adult son threatened “to burn the house down and kill me” after bursting into the family home demanding money from her obtained a barring order against him.
Aged in his 40s, her son is on crack cocaine, and the incident happened shortly after his recent release from prison, his mother told the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House in Dublin.
During the incident, he wrestled her phone from her when she was trying to call the gardaí and took money from her purse in front of her, she said.
“I’m afraid to sleep in my own home because he has smashed windows and doors.”
A young relative lives with her, and her daughter regularly visits with her children, the woman added.
Judge Gerard Furlong granted the woman’s ex parte (one side only represented) application for an interim barring order (IBO). The case will return to court later this month when the son can either oppose or consent to a full barring order for a maximum of three years.
The woman was among several parents who came to court on Friday seeking emergency orders, under the Domestic Violence Act, against adult sons with addiction problems.
A father secured a two-year barring order against his son, aged in his late 20s.
He previously got an IBO but, when the case returned to court on Friday, there was no appearance by the son.
“He is unlikely to be here because he runs away from everything,” said his father.
The judge proceeded to hear the barring order application because he was satisfied the son was served with the necessary legal documents.
In his sworn information to the court, he said his son has been an addict, using drink and drugs, since his early teens.
He started on marijuana and moved to cocaine and is living a “chaotic” lifestyle affecting everyone in the family home, said his dad. His son is out four or five times weekly and returns at all hours, often causing disruption, “sometimes violent and always on the edge of it”. He damages the house and the family’s cars and has “threatened my life”, he added.
His son’s personality has altered; he is “clearly mentally ill”, constantly in trouble and does not seem to care for anyone or anything, said his father. “He is descending deeper into addiction, if that is possible.”
The family are traumatised by this “relentless behaviour” and he previously secured a barring order in 2023 against his son.
He was seeking a two-year, rather than the maximum three-year order, he said. “There is always the hope of redemption. We’ll see. I’m here today for my family, but for him as much; he will never change as long as we maintain him in our home.”
The judge said he sees many parents in similar circumstances and always tells them “not to give up hope” and they have the option to discharge the order if circumstances change.
The man thanked the judge, adding he was very thankful to the court for its support over the years.
A mother obtained a protection order against her son, aged in his 20s, whom she said had recently gone into psychosis due to cocaine use and was a danger to himself and others. He had a previous incident of psychosis earlier this year, she said.
Gardaí had advised her to seek an IBO “but I want to give him a chance to get into rehab first”, she said.
In another case, the judge continued an IBO granted earlier this month to a woman against her adult son after he heard the son was in custody over an alleged breach of it.
The woman said, just days after she secured the IBO, her son kicked in her hall door and came upstairs when she was asleep. He had been put out of the house over drinking “and different things going on a long time” and recently “battered” and “choked” her other adult son, she said.
After he came into the house, she rang gardaí who removed him, she said. She is not afraid of her son but does not want to see him, she added.
In another application, a man who left the family home with his children earlier this week got a protection order against his wife. His wife previously agreed to his request to leave their jointly rented home after she was found by her mother and sister with cocaine.
She later returned, promising to stop drinking and to end contact with a man with whom she had been having an affair and repair her relationship with their older children, he said. One evening this week, he said she had driven home drunk and, when their teenage daughter confronted her, said she was leaving with the youngest child and struck the teenager. That was when he left with all the children, and they stayed in his mother-in-law’s house, he said.
The man said he did not want to return with the children unless his wife was barred from the family home.
Furlong said there was insufficient evidence for an emergency IBO, but he would grant a safety order. The barring order application would be heard at a later date when the wife is entitled to be present, he said. If she demonstrated any behaviour before that which put him or the children in fear, he should call gardaí, the judge added.