One actor would make the most boring James Bond by far, and that’s precisely why I hope he wins.
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After enduring what has felt like multiple lifetimes of ceaseless speculation, shifting betting odds, and covert campaigning disguised as gossipy reports, we may finally be approaching the end of what is undoubtedly one of the most important undertakings of this decade: the quest to find the next James Bond.
Who could replace Daniel Craig, who retired from the role in 2021 after 15 years of slinging guns, downing cocktails, and kissing hot babes as the film franchise’s longest-serving 007? Names that have been bandied about over the years include Michael B. Jordan, Idris Elba (yes, still), Tom Hardy, Regé-Jean Page, Tom Holland, Jacob Elordi, Harris Dickinson, Aaron Pierre, Jack O’Connell, and many more actors of varying levels of suaveness. But the latest “according to sources” updates have now left us with just a few reported finalists taking screen tests: Callum Turner (aka Mr. Dua Lipa), Jack Lowden (aka Mr. Saoirse Ronan), Josh O’Connor (aka Hot Priest 2.0), and possibly one mystery actor (exciting!).
Video from Slate
For nearly the entirety of this casting journey—which ramped up even further once Amazon MGM Studios struck a deal with the Broccoli family last year to gain creative control of the franchise and all related IP—I have been largely ambivalent about who would ultimately emerge the winner. The way that this whole thing has dragged out, with minor developments announced seemingly every other week, has punctured much of the excitement that might ordinarily accompany such an ordeal. It’s been a bit like watching a parade of handsome ponies trot in circles around a racetrack: fun, low-stakes, diverting enough to capture idle notice for two seconds before something else in the news, like Donald Trump complimenting some senator’s ass, demands more immediate attention.
But now, with this latest step toward the finish line, I have been convinced: Out of all the choices, Callum Turner should be the next James Bond.
On paper, he makes the most sense: He’s tall (the tallest, apparently, at nearly 6 feet, 2 inches), he’s conventionally attractive (with ears that aren’t so “sticky-out”-y as O’Connor’s), and he leads an enviable, jet-setting lifestyle on the arm of a pop star and occasional model who is basically a glamorous Bond girl herself. But my vote for him is not driven by any particular admiration for him or his particular set of assets. No, he would make the most boring pick for 007 by far—and that’s precisely why we should give it to him.
The key point, to me, is that whoever ends up the next James Bond will be locked into the franchise for years, taking them off the table for more interesting projects elsewhere. Famously, the longer Craig played the iconic secret agent, the more he seemed to hate it, expressing frustration over how physically taxing it was, how it took an emotional toll, and how time-consuming the commitment was. Since he’s hung up his Walther PPK, he has beelined for roles that are radically different and exponentially more adventurous, including Detective Benoit Blanc in the subsequent Knives Out movies, the obsessive gay expatriate Lee in Luca Guadagnino’s Queer, and Mark Ruffalo in Greta Gerwig’s forthcoming Narnia movie.
I don’t want that for the other rumored finalists. O’Connor is a tremendous talent who has been making delightfully offbeat choices in films; I would rather see him playing more grave robbers and dirtbag tennis players than tied up in MI6. As for Lowden, I would be genuinely happy for him to nab Bond, as he and his wife, whom I love, seem to really want. But a part of me would also be sad to never again see him bumbling around as a decidedly un-Bond-like spy in Apple TV’s Slow Horses. Let’s face it: I’d take River Cartwright over James Bond any day.
I can’t say the same for anything Turner has done, for all his years of solid performances as one of the love interests in rom-coms like Eternity and One Night Only or as one of The Boys in the Boat or Masters of the Air. Without intending any offense, I would describe him as, first and foremost, a beautiful man, and second, a perfectly fine actor. But hey, maybe that’s what would make him an ideal 007. He can flex his muscles, he can pull off a nice suit, and he can easily leave viewers’ loins both shaken and stirred. It certainly doesn’t hurt that he and Dua Lipa are a package deal—I can only imagine how good her own “Skyfall” would sound. But above all, if we lose him for a decade or more to Her (or, ahem, His) Majesty’s Secret Service, I don’t think we’ll miss out on all that much.