Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong finished last of 39 guests on a drinking leaderboard for Stripe’s Cheeky Pint podcast. However, he says the result makes him the real winner.
European tech outlet ETN compiled the ranking. Its adjusted version puts Irish robotics founder Will O’Brien first at 3.31 pints per hour, about 25 times Armstrong’s 0.13.
Why Does the Coinbase CEO Call Last Place a Win?
Stripe co-founder John Collison hosts the show over pints of Guinness. ETN’s first chart counted total pints, which put Elon Musk on top with three.
Musk replied that he rarely drinks alcohol. The adjusted chart then weighted each drink by alcohol content and episode length, dropping him to ninth.
O’Brien co-founded Ulysses, an underwater robotics startup. He drank two Guinness and a tequila shot in under 50 minutes.
Afterward, he celebrated on X and took a playful shot at Musk.
The Coinbase CEO saw the same data differently. In his view, the bottom of the drinking table equals first place on a “healthmaxxing” benchmark.
All warfare is based on deception. I actually got first place on the healthmaxxing benchmark.
— Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) October 16, 2026
Don't worry though Will, the other company I co-founded is developing drugs to rejuvenate your liver, so I got you. https://t.co/j6pjWOBWL4
Can a Longevity Startup Cover the Bar Tab?
Armstrong also offered O’Brien a remedy. He pointed to NewLimit, a biotech firm he co-founded that aims to make aging cells act young again.
The Coinbase CEO has real money behind the joke. He and his co-founders seeded NewLimit with $110 million of their own capital.
In June, the firm raised $435 million in a Series C round led by Founders Fund, which valued it at $3.1 billion.
Its lead program targets the liver. The company plans a first human trial in 2027 for fatty liver disease, with a later phase aimed at alcohol-related liver disease.
Meanwhile, Armstrong is better known for bold calls. He has argued that onchain reputation could replace credit scores and warned that a rogue AI could disrupt the internet.
Still, the banter points to a broader shift in Silicon Valley, where founders fund longevity science as seriously as software. The Coinbase CEO, who expects Bitcoin to reach $400,000 by 2030, is betting the next big return may come from adding healthy years.
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