Of all the things to be cross about – the terrible injustices in the world, the frightening situations we’re powerless to control – we do seem to get very het up about nepo babies.
They’re capable of making even the most rational person’s blood boil, and it’s easy to understand why. Nepo babies have won life’s lottery before they’re even born. They will the luxury of celebrity – the mansions, clothes, holidays – and are unlikely ever to face money worries, which is hard to take at a time when so many are struggling. Their dreams come true, seemingly with minimal effort. Doors are opened, and they’re welcomed through, often regardless of talent or skill. Obligatory mention of Brooklyn Beckham’s out-of-focus photography book here.
But is being a nepo baby all it’s cracked up to be? It could be argued that the drawbacks far outweigh the benefits. Is it time to give nepo babies a break?
As Iris Law – daughter of Jude Law and Sadie Frost – said in a new interview: “I think you should always feel like [you need to prove yourself]. I don’t think you should get complacent in the place that you’re in. It’s about being aware of any privilege that I hold and being kind and working hard. You can get sucked into a negative way to think about it. I try to take the positive route of feeling like ‘Wow, I’m so lucky’ and understand that, of course, there are privileges that I hold.”
Already a successful model, she now plans to pursue acting, aka follow in her parents’ footsteps, as it will repeatedly be referred to for the rest of her life.
And that’s the sting, isn’t it? No one is denying that, from the outside, these kids have it all. On the surface. But what’s beneath? In return for the help your mum and dad can give you getting into their industry, you have to be resigned to it never really being yours. Their footsteps will be mentioned every time. No matter what you achieve, you will forever be in their shadow. Your name will always be written or spoken before the words “daughter/son of…” How can you feel like a person in your own right, let alone an actor or singer or whatever?
And it’s honestly not fair. As As nepo baby with nepo children Gwyneth Paltrow says: “There’s nothing wrong with doing or wanting to do what your parents do. Nobody rips on a kid who’s like, ‘I want to be a doctor like my dad and granddad.’”
Ryan Phillippe – father of actor-musician Deacon and model-actor Ava – echoes this sentiment: “That’s what always annoys me about this whole nepotism talk with the industry… So many people grow up and end up doing what their parents do, you know, to some degree or another… To me, I always get offended for the children of actors and entertainers when people bring that up because yeah, of course, that’s what they’ve grown up around.”
And as Cruz Beckham observed, in a since-deleted social media comment, “Jesus was also a nepo baby”.
Much in the life of the nepo baby will come easy, but surely the biggest, toughest battle they will face is against themselves, and the inevitable imposter syndrome. How are they going to muster up any self worth, when a nagging voice inside must question whether they would have got to where they are if it wasn’t for their family connections? If they really deserve what they have achieved, if they’re truly talented or simply riding on coattails. And make no mistake: some of them are truly talented, it’s in their genes, after all.
But they themselves can’t ever know that for sure, or trust anyone professing to be giving a truthful answer. Nepo babies face widespread denigration and derision, mean comments and accusations, but it seems possible their harshest critics are themselves. Acknowledging that makes it a little more difficult to begrudge them. Wouldn’t you always feel that you were lacking if you weren’t sure if you’d earnt what you have? It’s like cheating, which only leads to a hollow victory. At what price, self respect?
So the next time we’re fuming about a nepo baby, maybe we need to stop and think for a moment. After all, who would envy a gilded cage?