Does your child struggle to function without a mobile phone? Are they glued to a screen the moment they wake up, while eating, while studying, and even right before going to bed? You are exhausted from repeating the same things, yet your child seems to turn a deaf ear to your words! Asking them to put the phone away triggers anger, stubbornness, tears, or sulking—making daily family life increasingly chaotic.
Perhaps you have tried taking the phone away in anger, scolding them, or even punishing them.
Yet, after a few days, the situation returns to exactly as it was. This is because, while taking away a mobile phone is easy, the real challenge lies in reducing a child’s excessive reliance on it and teaching them to self-regulate their own behavior.
Children today are growing up in an era where technology is an inseparable part of their lives.
Online classes, educational videos, games, cartoons, and social media—everything is right at their fingertips. While this easy access to technology creates new learning opportunities, it also increases the risks associated with excessive use.
The vibrant screens, rapidly changing visuals, rewards in games, and a constant stream of videos provide the child’s brain with continuous, fresh stimulation.
Consequently, real-life activities—such as studying, reading books, playing sports, or spending time with family—may seem far less engaging to many children. However, the situation varies from child to child.
Factors such as loneliness, boredom, stress, a lack of physical play, or insufficient quality time with parents can all contribute to excessive mobile phone use.
Therefore, instead of simply blaming the child, we must try to understand: what exactly are they finding in the digital world that they feel is missing from their real life? Don’t just scold—try to understand. Take a moment to reflect: what do you say to your child when they are engrossed in their mobile phone?
It is easy for such words to slip out in a moment of anger. However, constant scolding might only lead a child to put the phone away temporarily, without them ever truly understanding the need to change their own behavior. In fact, they might start hiding their usage, or a rift could develop between them and their parents.
Instead, try talking to them calmly. Ask them which games they enjoy, why they spend so much time watching videos, and how they feel when they have to stop using the phone. Listen to what they have to say.
Then, explain how excessive screen time can affect their sleep, studies, physical activity, and family relationships. Remember, it is far more important to teach a child to regulate their own behavior than it is to simply control them.
Don’t just take away the mobile—provide alternative sources of enjoyment.
Take them to a playground, encourage them to ride a bicycle, read storybooks, draw, plant trees, or play board games together as a family. Engage them in activities—tailored to their age and interests—where they can find joy, learn new
If you repeatedly tell your child to “put away the phone” while remaining glued to your own device, how much weight will your words carry? Children don’t just listen to what we say; they observe and emulate our behavior.
If parents reach for their phones the moment they have some free time, keep their eyes on a screen while talking, or stay occupied online even when sitting with the family, the child may come to view this as a normal, everyday habit.
Therefore, alongside creating screen-free time for your child, you must cultivate this habit yourselves. Simple, collective family activities—such as reading books, going for walks, sharing stories, or sitting down together for dinner—can pave the way for significant, positive change.
Ultimately, your child’s future does not depend on how much time they spend on a mobile device; rather, it hinges on the extent to which they grow into confident, creative, and responsible individuals capable of self-control.
Rather than taking away their mobile devices, teach your children to take control of their own lives. Mindful parenting serves as a vital foundation for raising a generation that is confident, capable, and tech-savvy.
(The writer is an Engineer, Columnist, & President of DU Social Welfare Alumni Forum)