- Valerie Cherry was thrilled when her first grandchild was born. She wanted to be a hands-on grandma.
- The mom-of-one yearned to be closer to the young family but was reluctant to leave her hometown.
- With 1,000 miles between them, she found a "middle ground" by renting nearby for half of the year.
This story is based on an interview with Valerie Cherry, 68, a clinical psychologist from Tampa, Florida. It has been edited for length and clarity.
My husband, Glenn, 68, and I were delighted when our first grandchild — a little girl —was born four years ago.
Our son, Jamal, is an only child, and we are a very close-knit family.
We rushed from our home in Tampa to help him and our daughter-in-law, Sierra, who had settled 1,000 miles away in Houston, with the demands of a baby.
Our trips lasted between a month and six weeks, and there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing between the two cities.
We'd either stay with the family or rent Airbnbs to give everyone a bit of space.
Courtesy of Valerie Cherry.
It felt great to be hands-on and useful, especially because Jamal and Sierra work very hard in finance and forensic psychology, respectively.
Back home in Florida, though, we lived life to the full in our gated, suburban community. Glenn, a relief veterinarian, and I had meaningful friendships there.
We knew lots of people, particularly fellow alumni from our colleges in Georgia. There was always something going on, like book clubs and fundraising activities.
Then our grandson was born two years ago. We continued our long visits to care for him and his sister, flying between the two cities.
We started to look at places in Houston
Soon after his birth, Jamal and Sierra approached us about what it felt like when we weren't there. They were a bit nervous and wanted to know whether we'd consider moving close by.
We were torn. As much as we wanted to be with our grandchildren, we valued our time in Tampa. Still, we started to look at places in Houston.
The trouble was that if we were to purchase something in Houston, it would have had to be in the suburbs. Traffic is terrible, so it would have been around a 40-minute drive to my son's.
Courtesy of Valerie Cherry
Another factor was that we didn't want to be tied down by taxes, insurance, and all of that in Texas because we didn't want to give up our home in Tampa.
I Googled other options and came across a building called Landing right in downtown, a little over 10 minutes from the family.
It was different from other arrangements because you could stay there for as long or as short a period as you liked.
We paid a membership fee and secured a two-bedroom apartment that was already furnished. The only things we brought were a couple of pots for the kitchen.
We found a middle ground
It now works out that we spend around seven months a year in Houston and five in Florida. However, the 4,800-square-foot house in Tampa is classified as our main residence.
The apartment is much smaller at 1,600 square feet, but we like it very much. There are two swimming pools in the building, playrooms, and a basketball court.
I feel like we have found a middle ground. We can spend quality time with our grandkids, especially when their parents are on a date or away for the weekend.
We're busy planning for Halloween this year as it's a big thing for us all.
We haven't lost our identity as grandparents
Meanwhile, if one of the children gets a fever at day care or school, Glenn or I can pick them up. It's an extra pair of hands.
We haven't lost our identity now that we're known as Nana and Papa. We regularly fly back and forth to Florida to enjoy the company of longtime friends.
Our neighbors keep an eye on the house while we're away, too. It's reassuring.
I know we're privileged to be in this position, but it really is the best of both worlds.