By Jonathan Kofi Appiah, Human Resource Consultant and Aviation Executive
She was receiving pizza and drinks at work. Two colleagues thought they knew the story. They spread a rumour that nearly destroyed her reputation. But there was one thing they didn’t know: the man bringing her food was her biological father!
Welcome to the workplace, where some people will help you meet your deadline, some will help you grow, and others will turn your innocent lunch into the biggest office scandal of the year!
Let’s be honest. Sometimes, the biggest challenge in your career is not your workload, your boss, or your salary. It is the colleague sitting right next to you.
Toxic colleagues can steal your ideas, damage your reputation, undermine your confidence, and make you dread going to work.
In this article, I explore seven types of toxic colleagues, drawing on workplace experiences and lessons reflected in the first manuscript of my book, People Management Triangle: Managing Self, Staff, and Boss Effectively.
One story reminds us why we must be careful about what we say, what we believe, and what we share.
The Bank Teller, the Pizza, and the Rumour that went too far
An illustrative story drawn from extracts of the first manuscript of my book, People Management Triangle.
In a bank in Ghana, there was a female teller who often spoke about her achievements and the influential people she knew. She would sometimes mention that she knew people who could arrange to bring her lunch at work.
Then something interesting began to happen.
On several occasions, an elderly man, who appeared wealthy and drove a car, would arrive and hand over pizza and drinks to the security officer to be delivered to the young lady.
The visits happened repeatedly.
Two female colleagues noticed the pattern.
Instead of minding their business or checking the facts, they began connecting the dots—except they were connecting them with imagination rather than evidence!
Their conclusion?
The teller was allegedly having affairs with bank customers in exchange for gifts. They even pointed to the fact that one of the men bringing her food was married.
The story began to spread.
Whispers turned into accusations. Speculation became accepted as fact. Before long, the young lady was being labelled a gold digger, and her character was being questioned.
Imagine reporting to work every morning, serving customers professionally, and unknowingly becoming the subject of a scandal you never created.
But wait. There was one important detail the gossipers did not know.
The man was her biological father!
The elderly man regularly passed through the area on his way to work. As a caring father, he would buy food and drinks for his daughter and arrange for them to be delivered to her at the bank.
That was it.
No affair. No secret relationship. No scandal.
Just a father taking care of his daughter.
Yet, two colleagues had taken an innocent act of parental love and turned it into a damaging workplace rumour.
The question is: How many people’s reputations have we damaged simply because we thought we knew their stories?
What if the rumour had affected her promotion? What if it had reached senior management or her family? What if it had damaged her marriage prospects or her standing in the community?
And when the truth finally emerged, would those who spread the story have been willing to repair the damage?
This story captures one of the most dangerous aspects of workplace toxicity: people can become so comfortable discussing other people’s lives that they forget they are dealing with real human beings.
It also reminds us that what we see is not always what we think we see.
Now, let’s look at seven types of toxic colleagues you may encounter at work.
1. THE GOSSIP: “I’m only telling you because I trust you!”
This colleague always has the latest gist.
They know who argued with the boss, who is having relationship problems, who is being considered for promotion, and who might lose their job. They may even begin the conversation with, “Please, don’t tell anyone I told you!” But somehow, the information travels across the entire office.
The two colleagues in our bank story demonstrate how dangerous gossip can become when people spread assumptions as facts.
Today’s gossip can become tomorrow’s accusation and you could be the next victim.
How to deal with them:
- Avoid sharing sensitive personal information.
- Do not participate in conversations that damage someone’s reputation.
- Verify information before believing or repeating it.
- If there is a genuine concern about misconduct, report it through the appropriate channels.
Remember: not every story deserves an audience.
2. THE CREDIT THIEF: “We did it!”
You developed the idea. You did the research. You stayed late to complete the work.
Then comes the presentation. Suddenly, your colleague stands before management and explains how they made everything happen. You are sitting at the back of the room wondering whether you attended the same project meetings!
The credit thief is dangerous because they may not openly attack you. Instead, they quietly position themselves to benefit from your hard work.
You do the work; they take the glory. Fraud or talent?
How to deal with them:
- Keep records of your contributions.
- Send clear project updates to relevant stakeholders.
- Document responsibilities and decisions.
- Speak confidently about your work without belittling others.
Hard work matters, but visibility and accountability matter too.
3. THE TWO-FACED COLLEAGUE: “My friend, you know I support you!”
This colleague smiles at you during lunch, praises your ideas in private, and calls you a friend.
But when promotion discussions begin, they suddenly question your competence. When you are around, they say, “You deserve that opportunity.” When you are absent, the story changes. Their words build trust, but their actions undermine it.
Of course, not everyone who disagrees with you is two-faced. Healthy professional relationships allow disagreement. The problem arises when someone repeatedly pretends to support you while deliberately working against you.
How to deal with them:
- Be friendly without trusting blindly.
- Judge people by consistent behaviour, not flattering words.
- Keep important professional discussions documented.
- Build relationships with people who can disagree with you honestly.
You can be professional with everyone without making everyone your confidant.
4. THE PERPETUAL VICTIM: “Everybody is against me!”
Nothing is ever their fault.
They missed a deadline because nobody reminded them. They made a mistake because their supervisor did not explain properly. They failed to complete a task because the entire team supposedly refused to help. And somehow, you always end up being the villain.
Let’s be fair: people face genuine challenges, and some employees are treated unfairly. The problem is a repeated pattern of refusing responsibility while blaming everyone else.
How to deal with them:
- Clarify roles and expectations.
- Agree on deadlines and responsibilities.
- Keep records of important decisions.
- Show empathy without accepting blame for things you did not do.
Being supportive does not mean becoming someone’s permanent excuse.
5. THE NEGATIVITY MERCHANT: “Who do you think you are?”
You propose a new idea. “It won’t work!”
You apply for a promotion. “You think you are better than everyone?”
You achieve something meaningful. “You are showing off!”
No matter what you do, this colleague finds a reason to discourage you.
But here is the interesting part: sometimes, what looks like negativity is legitimate professional caution.
A colleague who questions an idea because the numbers do not add up may be protecting the organisation. Someone who constantly belittles your ambition without offering constructive feedback may be protecting their own insecurity.
The real question is: Are they challenging your idea to make it better, or attacking your confidence to keep you small?
How to deal with them:
- Listen to constructive criticism.
- Ask for evidence and practical alternatives.
- Separate useful feedback from personal attacks.
- Keep pursuing your goals without becoming arrogant.
You do not have to silence every critic. Sometimes, you simply need to distinguish a useful warning from unnecessary discouragement.
6. THE SABOTEUR: “I thought you knew!”
This colleague knows about an important meeting but conveniently forgets to inform you. They receive a critical update but fail to share it. They withhold information you need to complete your assignment. Then, when things go wrong, they ask, “Why didn’t you do your job?”
This is more than an unpleasant attitude. If deliberate and repeated, it can undermine performance, create unnecessary conflict, and damage your professional reputation.
They hide the information, watch you struggle, and then blame you for the failure.
How to deal with them:
- Confirm instructions and deadlines in writing.
- Request access to the information you need.
- Copy relevant stakeholders on essential updates.
- Raise repeated patterns of exclusion or information withholding with your manager or HR.
Do not fight sabotage with sabotage. Protect yourself through professionalism, evidence, and clear communication.
7. THE JEALOUS COLLEAGUE: “It was just luck!”
When you make a mistake, they are the first to notice. When you receive recognition, they suddenly become quiet. If you get promoted, it is favouritism. If you receive an award, it was luck. If management praises your performance, they claim you know how to impress the boss.
Some colleagues find it difficult to celebrate another person’s progress because they measure their own worth against everyone else’s success.
They are loud when you fail and silent when you win!
How to deal with them:
- Focus on your performance rather than their reactions.
- Celebrate achievements without arrogance.
- Avoid unnecessary competition.
- Do not allow someone else’s resentment to control your confidence.
Your colleague’s success does not have to be your failure. There is room for more than one person to shine.
THE BIGGER LESSON: Don’t become toxic while fighting toxicity
The bank teller’s story brings us back to a simple truth: you can see an event without understanding its meaning.
You see someone receiving food and assume they are having an affair. You see someone speaking confidently and assume arrogance. You see a colleague questioning a decision and assume jealousy. Sometimes your interpretation may be correct. Sometimes it may be completely wrong.
That is why mature professionals’ separate facts from assumptions.
Before spreading a story, ask yourself:
Do I know this to be true? Could there be another explanation? Am I helping solve a problem, or simply entertaining myself at someone else’s expense? Would I be comfortable if my own private life were discussed this way?
These questions may save someone from unnecessary embarrassment, conflict, or reputational damage.
Protect your privacy, but respect other people’s privacy too
You do not owe every colleague an explanation of your family, relationships, finances, or personal affairs. Maintain healthy boundaries and share personal information only with people you trust.
However, remember this: privacy is not guilt, and silence is not proof of wrongdoing.
At the same time, do not label everyone who disagrees with you as toxic. Look for repeated patterns, consider the circumstances, and give people a fair opportunity to explain themselves.
When toxic behaviour persists, respond wisely. Set boundaries, document serious incidents, seek appropriate support, and use formal reporting channels where necessary.
Your goal is not to defeat everyone in the office.
Your goal is to protect your peace, your reputation, your performance, and your integrity.
A final thought from People Management Triangle
The People Management Triangle emphasises three important leadership relationships: managing yourself, managing your staff, and managing your boss.
Before you can manage difficult colleagues effectively, you must first manage yourself; your emotions, your assumptions, your words, and your reactions.
You cannot always control what others say about you. But you can control whether you participate in spreading unverified stories about others.
You cannot stop everyone from being jealous. But you can choose not to let jealousy dictate your behaviour.
And you cannot build a healthy workplace by demanding integrity from everyone else while ignoring it in yourself.
The strongest professional is not the person who knows everyone’s secrets. It is the person who can be trusted with them.
Jonathan Kofi Appiah is a seasoned aviation executive with over a decade of experience in leadership roles. He is the Team Lead at Heritage Necessity Consult (www.necessityconsult.com) and the author of People Management Triangle: Managing Self, Staff and Boss Effectively. Previously, he held key positions at an Airline in Ghana, including Head of Commercial, Senior Manager of Organisational Effectiveness and Business Development, and Deputy Head of Human Resources.
Jonathan.appiah@necessityconsult.com
joojona@gmail.com