It feels as though Manchester United are trapped in a perpetual doom loop, so haunted by the litany of failures that they can no longer see a way out.
Michael Carrick is morphing before our eyes into Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Mk II, turning his elevation to the “permanent” head coach’s role into a one-way ticket to oblivion.
Noussair Mazraoui is such a delicate flower that he decides he can only cope with a squally autumnal evening in the Italian Lakes by wearing leggings. That is before you look at the bench, where, quite frankly, you have to cover your eyes. If Joshua Zirkzee represents the answer, then you hate to think what the question might be.
We should be shocked at seeing a club of United’s pedigree out-thought and outmanoeuvred by opponents that were in the fourth tier of Italian football in 2019.
But this humiliation by Como holds up a mirror to an embarrassing gulf in attitude, ambition and boardroom vision. While the home side, making their Champions League debut, have invested heavily at every level under the Indonesian billionaire Hartono brothers, United in the age of Ineos and the dreaded Glazers have become a study in complacency and sclerotic leadership. This lopsided result stems from two vastly different club cultures.