“We Loved To Dress Up And Match With Her”: Neelam Gill Remembers Her Late Mother Before Diwali

Neelam Kaur Gill, 31, arrives at the Mallory Court Country House Hotel in Leamington Spa in a small procession – flanked by her sisters, Jasmine, 25 and Millan, 13, each hauling plastic storage boxes, their transparent sides stuffed with an explosion of colours.

That morning, the boxes had been collected from their maternal grandparents’ home in Coventry. Inside are precious heirlooms: outfits inherited from their late mother, Rajan Kaur Gill, who died of cancer in 2023. “She was a make-up artist and took a lot of pride in her appearance,” Neelam says, holding up a pale pink embellished top, before burrowing through the rest of the box to find the matching skirt, like a game of sartorial Snap played with technicolour fabric, heavy with beading and memories. “I remember her putting on her gold jewellery in the mirror. I was so in awe of her beauty and used to love sitting for hours watching her get ready.”

These ornate pieces were worn for weddings and parties rather than Diwali, which was more of a spiritual occasion for the family, who are Sikh. “My first memory of Diwali was Mum putting candles in every room,” says Neelam. She grew up in Coventry with most of her family living just streets away. “Coventry was such a bubble,” she says. “I’d be walking to school in the morning and four people I know would drive by and beep the horn. I could just walk into anyone’s house and say hi.”

Although Diwali began as a Hindu festival, it’s now celebrated across India and by its diaspora – and Sikhs often mark it as the date falls close to their festival Bandi Chhor Divas. The two holidays are linked by a similar sentiment: light triumphing over darkness and good over evil.

For Neelam’s family, Diwali would begin at the local gurdwara for prayers, then unfold at her maternal grandmother Nani’s home, full of food, family and festivities. “I feel really lucky because she lived on the next road. When I moved to London, I realised how rare it is to live within 20 steps of your family,” she says. Her grandparents immigrated from Jalandhar in Punjab and her grandfather is on set today. “He’s wearing his nice shirt,” she says, watching over him protectively. “I grew up hearing stories about the racism they faced but also how they worked hard and invested all their money into property in order to build a life for themselves in the UK.”

That strong family bond made moving away to pursue modelling at 18 tough. “I felt very isolated and vulnerable,” says Neelam. “It was hard to go from having all of your family really close by to not. I remember just gravitating towards anyone South Asian. There’s not many of us in the fashion industry, so when you do find someone you stick together.”

“At home, me and my mum and my sisters would watch Bollywood films together every weekend. So if I was really homesick, that was one thing that made me feel connected to them, especially around Diwali.” The clothes on screen were formative; Neelam recalls shopping trips with her mother in Coventry, Birmingham or further afield to Southall in London. “My mum loved designing her own outfits, inspired by her favourite Bollywood actresses. She would pick out the fabric, take it to the tailor, then add her own twist to it – and she’d make us matching outfits too. We loved to dress up and match with her.”

“At one of my first Diwali parties in London I wore a full Sabyasachi outfit,” she says, scrolling through her phone to reveal a lehenga – a long skirt, top and scarf – in a myriad of greens, reds and yellows. “It was so regal and special and I love that the print was quite traditional too.”

In recent years Diwali has grown more visible in the UK, an overdue celebration of the South Asian community, the country’s largest minority group. “Representation is so important and Diwali is a major holiday and deserves to be treated as one,” says Neelam. “But it definitely shines through when something is performative and you can see when something feels really genuine.” Despite her busy schedule, Diwali is still a highlight of her year. “I love going to parties with the people I love and meeting new people. I get so excited about what I’m going to wear and seeing everyone else’s outfits too.” Just as she finishes her sentence, Millan casually enters the room in a glittering silver Chanel suit – so dazzling it could easily pass for Diwali attire. She’s going to be the most popular girl in school, I tell Neelam. “She already is,” Neelam says.

Top look: Beaded gaberdine jacket, McQueen. Waistcoat with crystal embellishment, Roger Vivier. Ruffled silk jacquard trousers, Chloé. Scarf, Tigra Tigra. Earrings, Dinosaur Designs. Pendant necklace, Bangla Begum. Ring, Vanya Sundari. Hair: Tomi Roppongi. Make-up: Kristina Ralph Andrews. Nails: Lilly Powell. Tailor: Megan O’Connor. Set design: Kash Odedra. Production: Lock Studios. With thanks to Mallory Court Country House Hotel, Leamington Spa