Protecting a child comes naturally to many parents. Whether it is stepping in during a disagreement, contacting another parent after a playground dispute or trying to prevent a child from experiencing disappointment, these actions often come from a place of love.
But when does support begin to take away a child's opportunity to learn?That question came into focus when actor Soha Ali Khan discussed helicopter parenting with designer Simone Khambatta and businessman Dhruv Sayani on her podcast, *All About Her*. The conversation explored a familiar parenting dilemma: how to remain present for children without taking over every challenge they encounter. Rather than treating overprotectiveness simply as a parent constantly watching over a child, Soha drew attention to a less obvious pattern: stepping in to resolve problems before children have had the chance to work through them.
5 Oct 2026 | 12:06
Parents, when your child refuses to greet relatives, do you make them say hello or respect their choice?
When protection becomes problem-solving on a child's behalf
Soha explained that helicopter parenting is not only about hovering. It can also involve repeatedly rescuing children from uncomfortable situations, sometimes before they genuinely need adult intervention. "There's this term called helicopter parenta nd it's not just about hovering all the time. It's also about rescuing, as helicopters often are employed to do, and sort of swooping in sometimes before required and doing things for your child with all the good intention of protecting them," she said.
The distinction is important because parents may not always recognise when their helpfulness begins to replace a child's own efforts. A disagreement with a friend, a conflict at school or an upsetting experience can prompt an immediate response from adults who want to make things right. However, resolving every problem on a child's behalf may leave little room for them to practise communicating, negotiating, managing frustration and deciding what to do next.
Children need protection when a situation is unsafe, but not every difficult experience necessarily requires a parent to take control. Soha's question was therefore not whether parents should care less, but whether their involvement can sometimes prevent children from developing the skills they need to manage life independently.
Simone Khambatta's shift from stepping in to stepping back
Simone acknowledged that she had started out as a helicopter parent. Reflecting on her experience, she described how frequently intervening in her son's difficulties had affected his opportunities to learn from them.
"I started off as a helicopter parent for sure. What I realised is I was not raising an emotionally capable child," she said. She recalled situations involving fights and bullying in which she would contact the other child's parent and work to resolve the issue.
Although the problems were addressed, she began to recognise that her son was not getting enough opportunities to deal with difficult social situations himself.
Simone also noted that he had bullied others, adding another layer to the challenges he faced.Her experience led her to change how she responded. Instead of automatically taking charge, she began talking to her son about what had happened and approaching the situations in a more considered way. Simone said she had noticed that her second child seemed more emotionally capable, while cautioning against attributing that difference simply to the children being of different genders.
Her reflection pointed instead towards how parenting approaches and opportunities to practise problem-solving can shape a child's experience.
Her account was personal rather than a universal formula for raising emotionally resilient children. Every child and situation is different, and some circumstances require firm adult intervention. Still, her experience highlighted how good intentions can sometimes have unintended consequences.
The balance between being available and taking over
The discussion offered a useful distinction for parents: being present does not have to mean solving everything. Listening to a child's account, helping them think through possible responses and discussing what they might do differently can provide guidance without removing their role in the solution. That approach also leaves room for mistakes. Children may not handle every disagreement perfectly, and they may need reassurance after a difficult experience.
The aim is not to leave them alone with problems, but to help them build confidence in their ability to respond, with an adult available when needed.Soha's conversation with Simone and Dhruv returned to a central challenge of parenting: keeping children safe while allowing them enough space to develop their own judgement. Sometimes, the most useful response is not to swoop in immediately, but to help a child understand the situation and work out a way forward. For parents accustomed to fixing problems quickly, stepping back can be uncomfortable. Yet support can also mean staying close, asking questions and giving children the chance to try.
The goal is not less care, but care that prepares them to handle more of life on their own.