Growing up without a parent can leave children grappling with questions that follow them into adulthood.
For author Kamogelo Masoga, longing for a father’s love and eventually seeking him out became the inspiration for “The Bastard Child”, a novel exploring parental abandonment, rejection, and the difficult path to healing.
The 28-year-old, originally from Mmotwaneng village in Sekhukhune, Limpopo, says writing the book let her confront a painful chapter of her life and reflect on what it's like to grow up without one or both parents.
“This book was inspired by my story as someone who grew up without a father. I grew up longing for his love. I remember I even went to find him myself and, when I met him, he didn’t even show any remorse for abandoning me or any happiness that he was reunited with me,” she says.
“For a long time, I carried that pain with me until I decided to accept the truth that he was never going to be the father I needed, and that I had to forgive him without any apology from him. I see a lot of children going through what I went through, and I feel sorry for them.”
Her experience informs Keith's story: a child rejected by both his mother and father who finds a sense of belonging in his grandmother's care. Her death, however, leaves him confronting the pain of losing the person who had provided him with the love and stability missing from his relationship with his parents.
Through Keith’s experience, Masoga highlights the consequences of parental decisions and the emotional burden on children who are left to make sense of an absent parent’s choices.
She says parents were not always honest with their children about why the other parent was absent, leaving them with unanswered questions about their family circumstances.
“I wanted to show people that sometimes children suffer because of their parents’ actions. A lot of parents are not really honest about why the other parent decided not to be present in a child’s life.”
Masoga believes both men and women must reflect on their decisions and the potential consequences for children.
“So both men and women should really look into themselves because it is their actions that lead to this kind of problem in society.”
For the author, addressing parental abandonment also requires families and communities to confront those responsible rather than allowing personal relationships to stand in the way of accountability.
She believes people sometimes stay silent because they fear damaging relationships with relatives or losing the benefits they receive from them.
“I think we fail to hold these people accountable because they are close to us. Maybe it’s because we are afraid to ruin our relationship with them or that we might stop benefiting from them,” she says.
Keith’s grandmother is central to this concern. As his primary caregiver, she provides the parental support he does not receive elsewhere, illustrating how grandparents often assume responsibilities that would ordinarily fall to a child’s mother and father.
Masoga says Keith’s dependence on his grandmother also explains why her death has such a devastating effect on him.
“His grandmother plays a significant role in his life because she became his mother and father. That’s why, when she died, Keith hit rock bottom. He finally felt the pain of being abandoned,” she says.
She believes his experience reflects the circumstances of many children whose grandparents step in to raise them while their parents remain absent.
“His experience really shows us that a lot of grandmothers are raising their grandchildren out there while the parents are busy out there living their best lives. That’s why a lot of grown-ups today would tell you they prefer their grandmothers to their actual parents.”
Masoga hopes the novel will encourage readers who have experienced similar rejection to work towards healing and avoid allowing their childhood experiences to determine the kind of parents they become.
“I wish readers who, just like me, have experienced this kind of rejection can forgive, heal and move on. I hope they can become better parents to their kids.”
She also wants absent parents to recognise the consequences of their actions and take responsibility for repairing damaged relationships.
“And to those parents who have abandoned their children, I really wish they can see the damage they have done and go back to fix it.”
She credits “Nothing but the Truth”, the play by Zakes Mda and John Kani, with helping her recognise that passion.
“I wanted to be an actress, so I read a lot of books. Then one day, I actually discovered that I wasn’t really interested in acting, but storytelling itself.
“After reading that book, I started creating my own stories in my head and finally penned them down in an exercise book. That’s when I started following this passion. I was in high school, in Grade 9, by the way.”