[Column written by Nicole Chicon-DeSilva]
Every stroke survivor’s journey is unique, but one thing many people share is the experience of adapting to change. Recovery is rarely a single event. It is a process that unfolds over time, with challenges, achievements, setbacks and moments of hope along the way.
One helpful way of understanding this journey is through a six-stage model of transition developed by Dr Colin Murray Parkes. While everyone progresses at their own pace, these stages can provide reassurance that the thoughts and emotions experienced after a stroke are both normal and part of a wider process of adjustment and growth.
Stage 1: Entering a New Reality
Following a stroke, life can change suddenly and unexpectedly. Many survivors describe feeling caught between the life they once knew and an uncertain future. Feelings of shock, confusion, fear and anxiety are common during this period.
This is a time when emotional support, clear information and compassionate listening can make a significant difference. Family members, friends, healthcare professionals and support groups can help survivors begin to understand what has happened and what recovery may look like.
Although this stage can feel overwhelming, it is also the first step towards rebuilding confidence and engaging with rehabilitation services such as physiotherapy, occupational therapy and speech and language therapy.
Stage 2: Adjusting to Change
As recovery progresses, survivors often become more aware of the practical and emotional impact of their stroke. Changes in mobility, communication, thinking skills, work, relationships or daily routines can bring feelings of loss, frustration, sadness and grief.
It is important to recognise that grieving for aspects of life that have changed is a natural part of healing. Acknowledging these feelings rather than hiding them can help people move forward.
The process of adjustment is not about giving up on hopes and dreams. Instead, it is about discovering new ways to achieve them. Developing healthy coping strategies and seeking support when needed can help survivors adapt while maintaining hope for the future.
Stage 3: Re-discovering Strengths
At some point, many stroke survivors begin asking important questions: Who am I now? What am I still capable of? What does my future look like?
While these questions can be challenging, they can also open the door to personal growth. Recovery often reveals strengths that people did not realise they possessed, including determination, resilience, patience and courage.
Setting realistic goals and celebrating small achievements can help build confidence. Looking back and recognising how far you have already come is often a powerful reminder that progress, however gradual, is still progress.
Stage 4: Trying New Possibilities
As confidence grows, survivors often begin experimenting with new routines, activities and ways of doing things. This might involve returning to a favourite hobby, learning new methods for everyday tasks or increasing independence at home and in the community.
This stage is about giving yourself permission to try. Not every attempt will go perfectly and that is completely normal. Recovery is not measured by perfection but by persistence. Every new skill practised and every challenge faced contributes to greater confidence, self-belief and independence.
Stage 5: Building New Patterns
With time and experience, new routines begin to feel more natural. Survivors often discover meaningful activities, strengthen relationships and find fresh ways to participate in family and community life.
Many people develop a renewed appreciation for achievements that may once have seemed ordinary. Social connections, hobbies, volunteering, exercise and support groups can all play valuable roles in enhancing wellbeing and resilience.
This stage is about moving beyond simply coping and beginning to thrive within a new version of life.
Stage 6: Embracing the Future
Eventually, many survivors reach a point where the stroke becomes part of their story rather than the defining feature of it. While challenges may remain, there is often greater acceptance, confidence and trust in their ability to manage the future.
Recovery does not necessarily mean returning to exactly how life was before. Rather, it means creating a fulfilling life that incorporates new experiences, strengths and perspectives.
At this stage, people often reflect on how much they have achieved and look ahead with renewed purpose and optimism.
The Importance of Goals Along the Way
Throughout every stage of recovery, setting goals can provide direction and motivation. Small, achievable goals help turn progress into something visible and measurable.
Many rehabilitation professionals use SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-based. Whether it is walking a little further, improving communication, returning to a favourite activity or rebuilding confidence, every goal achieved is another step forward.
Recovery Is a Journey, Not a Race
The emotional journey after a stroke often includes highs and lows. There may be periods of optimism, frustration, uncertainty and renewed hope. These fluctuations are a normal part of adjusting to significant life changes.
For both survivors and carers, it helps to remember that progress is rarely a straight line. Every step, no matter how small, matters.
Most importantly, no one has to face the journey alone. With support, perseverance, rehabilitation and self-compassion, it is possible to build a meaningful and rewarding future after stroke.
Wherever you are on your recovery journey today, take a moment to recognise how far you have come. Every achievement deserves to be celebrated, and every new day brings fresh opportunities for growth, resilience and hope.
Join Us This World Stroke Day
That message sits at the heart of this year’s World Stroke Day, which the Bermuda Stroke Association [Registered Charity No. 361] will mark with an evening at the Bermuda Underwater Exploration Institute on Thursday, 29 October.
Doors open at 5:00pm, with survivor and caregiver stories and a healthcare panel running from 6:00 to 8:30pm. Entry is free, with donations welcome, and registration is required to confirm attendance. Refreshments are provided by Allshores and Discovery Wines & Spirits, with a cash bar also available.
Reserve your ticket at stroke.bm/event-details/world-stroke-day
The night before, on 28 October, the Association will also hold a Tag Day in Hamilton, and volunteers are warmly welcome.
Sign up to volunteer at signupgenius.com/go/20F0D45AEA722A7FFC61-66335754-bsatag
The stroke survey is still open as well until October 31st and is an opportunity to share your experiences: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/RJX3ZHZ
- Nicole Chicon-DeSilva, Co-Chair of the Bermuda Stroke Association
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