We spend much of our lives working towards milestones that society considers important. Degrees, careers, financial security, relationships and recognition often become measures of success.
But what happens when we achieve these goals and still feel that something is missing? This is one of the central questions explored in It Matters A Lot by Shubhra Saxena, an IAS officer and author. Published by Rupa Publications, the book examines identity, ambition, happiness, relationships, failure and the experiences that shape how we understand ourselves.
Rather than prescribing a universal formula for a meaningful life, Saxena encourages readers to question their assumptions and reflect on what genuinely matters to them.
5 Thought-provoking quotes from the book
1. “Because you can tick every box and still miss your own life.”
This line captures the central message of It Matters A Lot. We often follow a familiar checklist for success, pursuing educational qualifications, professional achievements, financial stability and personal milestones without stopping to question whether these goals reflect our own desires.
The problem is not ambition itself. Working towards something meaningful can bring satisfaction and purpose. However, when our goals are shaped entirely by external expectations, we may lose sight of what makes us happy.
Saxena invites readers to consider whether they are building a life that feels right to them or simply one that looks successful to everyone else.
The lesson: Achievement and fulfilment are not always the same. A meaningful life begins with understanding what success means to you.
2. “You can tick every box and still feel like something is missing.”
This line explores the gap between outward success and inner contentment. A person may have a stable career, a comfortable lifestyle and relationships that appear ideal, yet still struggle to understand why they feel unfulfilled.
Such feelings can arise when we pursue goals without examining the reasons behind them. We may believe that the next promotion, purchase or milestone will finally bring happiness, only to discover that the feeling does not last.
It Matters A Lot encourages readers to look beyond achievements and examine their emotional needs, values and expectations.
The lesson: Before chasing another milestone, pause and ask yourself what you hope it will bring into your life. Sometimes, understanding that desire matters more than achieving the goal.
3. “What happens when everything looks right and still doesn't feel enough?”
This question reflects a familiar struggle in a world that encourages constant comparison. Social media, professional competition and cultural expectations can make us feel that we are falling behind, even when we have made meaningful progress.
The difficulty is that there is always another achievement to pursue and another person against whom to measure ourselves. If our satisfaction depends entirely on reaching the next milestone, contentment can remain perpetually out of reach.
Saxena's book encourages readers to reconsider these expectations and develop a more personal understanding of happiness and fulfilment.
The lesson: You do not have to keep pursuing every goal that society celebrates. Learning to recognise what is enough for you can be just as important as striving for more.
4. “Why do we seek approval?”
The desire for approval can influence our decisions more than we realise. From choosing a career to navigating relationships, we may find ourselves prioritising other people's opinions over our own judgement.
Seeking acceptance is a natural human experience. Problems arise when external validation becomes the primary measure of our worth. We may begin making decisions to avoid criticism rather than to pursue what genuinely matters to us.
By encouraging readers to examine their beliefs and motivations, It Matters A Lot opens the door to greater self-awareness and more conscious choices.
The lesson: Other people's opinions can offer useful perspectives, but they do not have to determine the direction of your life. Understanding your values can help you make decisions with greater confidence.
5. “What are we really looking for in love, ambition, happiness, and success?”
These questions bring together several of the themes explored throughout It Matters A Lot. We often pursue different things without examining what we expect them to provide.
We may seek success because we want security, relationships because we want connection, or recognition because we want to feel valued. Yet the things we pursue and the needs we hope to fulfil are not always the same.
Taking time to understand these motivations can help us recognise unhelpful patterns and make choices that better reflect our priorities.
The lesson: Self-awareness begins when we become curious about our own desires. Asking honest questions can help us understand not only what we want, but why we want it.
Final thoughts
It Matters A Lot by Shubhra Saxena invites readers to reconsider the assumptions that shape their understanding of a successful and meaningful life. Its central message is that achievements alone cannot determine whether we feel fulfilled.
Through questions about identity, ambition, relationships and happiness, the book encourages readers to pause and reflect on the lives they are building.
Perhaps the most important question is not whether we have achieved everything we once wanted, but whether the life we are living reflects what truly matters to us.