Sharon Gordon|Published
I think we’re in for a hell of a summer if the last couple of weeks are anything to go by.
My pool and I are in a unique relationship. I give it hours of attention, and it rewards me with a green tinge and a thin layer of something I just can’t get rid of. At 2 in the morning none of that matters. I love that swim when everything is quiet and I float looking at the moon.
I love the drop in temperature once I’m in. It seems to regulate my nervous system making it easier to go back to sleep.
Last night I thought about temperature play and how we’ve never explored it. Some might think it's kinky, and maybe it is. My definition of kink might be a bit off.
If you’ve ever run a block of ice over your skin and got goosies, you’ll know where I’m going with this. When I talk about temperature play, I’m thinking hot and cold and everything in between.
Consider the erotic potential of a South African heatwave. Beyond the sweating, the three daily showers or dips, and the fan that just blows warm air around the room, summer offers fantastic opportunities for play.
Temperature play uses extreme thermal contrasts to heighten sensory perception. When it is 30°C at midnight and even the geyser is sweating, adding an icy shock to warm skin creates a goosebump-inducing drop that revives tired nerve endings.
How to Work the Cold Sensation
The Fridge Trick: Skip basic ice cubes that melt into a sloppy puddle on your mattress. Instead, take Stainless Steel or Borosilicate Glass Toys available from Lola Montez and pop them in the fridge (right next to the Castle Lite) for 15 to 20 minutes before play. You can keep it cold with an ice bucket next to the bed.
Why Metal & Glass Win: Unlike body-safe silicone, medical-grade glass and stainless steel retain cold temperatures remarkably well without degrading. They offer an ultra-smooth, icy glide across the chest, inner thighs, and erogenous zones.
Oral & Lube Hacks: You can also alternate between sipping iced water before giving oral sex or using cooling lubricants to keep the chill going.
Alternate: Think about hot and cold. Warm water (not boiling) works just as well.
How to work the Hot Sensation
I’m talking about candle play. I have to admit that I’m a bit afraid of candles after my cousin’s house burnt down. A curtain caught fire on an unattended candle.
Lesson one, don’t leave it unattended. The candles is my house are very seldom for ambience. With disruptions in electrical supply, they became a household necessity, but I leaned into exotic scented candles. I love dipping my …fingers into the wax!
Candles are among the most versatile tools for the bedroom. They work just as effectively as decor as they do as orgasm aids. Next time you want to (literally) heat things up, the best tool at your disposal might already be by your bedside.
Before you dive in, here is what you need to know to get started along with a few crucial survival tips for making romantic temperature play work.
Thermal Safety Rules
- Avoid the Freezer: Never put metal or glass toys in the freezer. Sub-zero metal can stick to mucosal tissue and cause thermal burns. Stick strictly to the standard refrigerator compartment.
- Test the Temperatures: Always touch-test warm oil on the back of your wrist or test chilled toys on your arm before applying them to sensitive skin.
- Never Use Silicone in the Fridge: Stick to non-porous glass and steel for temperature play. Keep silicone toys at comfortable room temperatures.
- For Candles: Pick an Erotic Scent. While aphrodisiacs are usually linked to food like oysters or chocolate, scents are just as erotic. Vanilla is a natural aphrodisiac, jasmine and sandalwood have been sensual stimulants for centuries, and ginger boosts blood circulation to improve bedroom morale.
- Don’t Attempt Play with Any Old Candle: Grabbing that random emergency tea light off your bedside table sounds tempting, do not do it. Standard household candles melt at high temperatures and will cause serious burns, landing you straight in the emergency room. Always use a designated formula like the Lola Montez Sensual Seduction Massage Candle. It uses low-melting-point botanical oils and rich shea butter that heat into a silky, warm liquid. It glides onto the skin safely, dousing your partner in essential oils for pleasure instead of pain.
- Consider Your Linen: Getting messy is fun, but if you love your high-thread-count sheets, plan ahead. Warm oil and wax are notoriously stubborn to wash out. Throw down a dark towel, ditch your favourite nightgown, and play freely without worrying about forever ruining your bedding. You can go one step further and buy yourself latex sheets, Fun to slip and slide on.
- Pre-Heat the Candle: Do not wait until you are fully unclothed to light up. A proper massage candle needs about 15 minutes to melt down into a usable pool of warm oil. Think of it like pre-heating the coals before putting the braai on. Once the oil is warm, soft, and ready, blow out the flame before you start pouring.
- Be Safe with Fire: Playing with fire is sexy, but hazardous. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to forget basic fire safety while performing horizontal acrobatics. Keep lit candles far away from loose curtains, blankets, or mosquito nets. Always communicate with your partner vocally so you both stay firmly in the pleasure zone rather than the pain zone.
Have you discussed your safe word? I think that will be my column for next weeks. Why every couple should have one and when to use it. Until then, do play together.