Wither dysfunctional parents?

In Islam, the knowledge of the Hour according to Qur’an 7:187 is part of what Allah has made to forever remain unknown to mankind. Only Allah knows when the world shall end. He (SWT) states in Qur’an 31:34 that “Surely Allah is He with whom is the knowledge of the Hour …” However, various sayings of the Prophet (SAW) reveal some signs by which man shall know that the Hour is near. The world shall not end until some minor (or ordinary) and major signs have come to pass. While a number of the minor signs mentioned by the Prophet (SAW) in many of his sayings have been witnessed, yet they keep unfolding as the Hour gets nearer.

Many of the ordinary signs are meant to denote a departure from everything normal, decent, and righteous. Some of these ordinary sings include abundant wealth with only a few people ready to give a little out of it as sadaqah (alms) in the service of Allah and humanity. Other ordinary signs are widespread betrayal of trust and confidence, adultery, fornication, usury (riba), envy, greed, giving witness to falsehood, indecent dressing by women, unceasing season of hard times, and incredible abominations such as incest. Although it must be seen as the height of immorality, the case of a highly irresponsible father having carnal knowledge of his biological daughter is no longer news to the Nigerian society. 

That which could be news and by implication another sign of the Hour is how, after having failed children, parents are misguiding their sons and daughters to indulge in evils and scandals. A 33-year-old man, Monsuru Musa, was recently in the news for allegedly impersonating his father, Musa Mohammed, and writing a promotion examination on his behalf in Abuja, Nigeria’s capital city. The incident occurred on Wednesday, October 7, 2026, the third day of the promotion examination organized by the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Civil Service Commission for workers in the FCT. Media reports indicate that Monsuru was apprehended by security personnel deployed on the directive of the FCT Minister, Nyesom Wike, at the examination centre located within the premises of the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN).

During questioning, Monsuru reportedly claimed that his father was sick and was within the NOUN premises. He also said his father had directed him to sit for the examination on his behalf; all meaning that his father was irresponsibly privy to the gross examination misconduct committed by Monsuru. Of course, the father, not the son (Monsuru), is the prime suspect and the one to blame for everything that is wrong with this shameful scandal. After their interrogations by operatives of the Department of State Services, the father and the son were both handed over to the police for further investigations.

Indeed, a father that chooses to be an accomplice in a crime that he should, naturally and as an obligation, have stopped his son from indulging in is simply manifesting obvious traits of failed and dysfunctional parenting, which is not without critical moral consequences. Irresponsible parenting has severe, long-lasting consequences and because parents serve as a child’s primary framework for understanding the world, failed parenting alters attitudinal behaviours and social trajectories. Children learn how to behave by mirroring their parents. They could grow up to replicate those exact maladaptive behaviours; effectively breeding the next generation of irresponsible parents. 

Without minding the moral implications of irresponsible parenting on our national life, many Nigerian adults as parents bequeath their children and other naïve admirers with a depraved cultural orientation in which money, not hard work; corruption, not integrity; remain the basic instruments for defining success. They teach and aid young Nigerians how to cut corners, disrespect elders and constituted authorities, abuse privileges of a public office, violate traffic rules, rig election results, and forge academic credentials.

The former Finance Minister, Zainab Ahmed, was actually right when she once  confessed and said “We have failed our children.” She made the declaration in 2020 at  the launch of the N75 billion entrepreneurship support fund to empower youths in the country. While this failure could be in terms of economic empowerment of the young generation of Nigerians, others would not be wrong if they add to Zainab’s assertion that “We have equally failed our children politically and even religiously.

Truly, we have individually and collectively failed our children’s generation (the GenZ), not only as leaders but also as parents, teachers, judges, law enforcement agents, and even as followers. It is catastrophic and bad enough for the overall well-being of a society when its men who are old enough to be grandfathers defile small girls as little as 4-year-old. Many parents, especially of the elitist class are so permissive in the inculcation of right morals in their children that the latter grow up without appreciating universal ethical values. They harm their children by over-pampering them as if money is everything. 

In the northern part of Nigeria, some parents abandon or shift the responsibility of training and educating their children to others by dumping such toddlers in Almajiri schools that are far from where kids can get the natural love and care that only parents can provide at that stage of their life. The sack of some lecturers including professors from ivory towers in recent years for their involvement in “sex-for-marks” scandals reveals how teachers who used to be dependable guardians of their students have lost conscience and now extort, harass, intimidate, and even maltreat those who, as students, should be trust in their hands. We have actually failed the youths of this country. May Allah (SWT) guide us to fear Allah in all that we do and say; at all times and in all places, amin.