A ‘wave of light’ event took place yesterday evening at Armagh Palace Stables to mark baby loss awareness week.
Parents and families of babies who have passed away joined together to light candles in their memory and share in one another’s grief.
Opening the event, Laura Nelson who lost her daughter Emily said: “Tonight has grown from a shared wish to bring families together, remember our babies and offer a little comfort through being with people who understand.”
The event was described as being “an evening of love and remembrance”.
“We’re here for babies lost during pregnancy, at birth or in infancy. For babies whose names are spoken every day and babies whose stories have been held quietly for years,” she said.
“Your love and your grief matter and we’re here to remember together.”
Alisha Quinn helped to organise the event and established a baby loss memorial garden in Armagh over the past few years.
“My first born Lochlann passed away at Christmas in 2019. I found out his heart had stopped beating on Chirstmas Eve,” she said.
“It was a very difficult time. Christmas is supposed to be a time that you spend with your children but I just felt like my whole world fell apart.
“I couldn’t make sense of any of it. When Covid hit I threw myself into fundraising and different things to bring awareness to baby loss.
A digital display featuring baby’s names who have passed away
“It dawned on me that it was a very taboo subject that people didn’t like talking about. So events like this are important to allow people to meet others who’ve had the same experience.”
Alisha read out a poem at the event which was an emotive moment for those gathered.
An extract from the poem read: “Thought my time was small, I left something behind.
“A little light, soft enough to hold, strong enough to stay.”
Kirsty Devlin said being at the event made her feel “less alone” in dealing with her grief.
“Child grief feels like the most lonely journey in the world. Being with all these women has made me feel less alone and really really helped,” she said.
“This event is great because you can bring along your partner and children to it who have also gone through grief.”
Kirsty’s daughter Julie was stillborn on Christmas Eve 2023 at 36 weeks.
“Nobody knows what to say to you, it makes everyone uncomfortable. You nearly don’t mention your child because you’re thinking of other people’s comfort rather than your own healing,” she said.
“It’s not easy if you don’t have support like you get at this event.
“I would say there’s thousands of women out there who don’t open up about it. I’m hoping all this tonight will encourage more people to do that.”
The evening finished with a digital display featuring each of the baby’s names who had passed away whilst they were also read out.
People were then given the chance to chat to one another about their stories at the end.