Nothing puts a dampener on a dinner party like a guest who outstays their welcome, but it seems David Beckham has found a canny way to make them leave.
In a clip shared on her Instagram on Monday, Victoria (who’s just launched own posh range of homeware) spilled the tea on her husband’s not-so-subtle tactic.
‘You know what happens in the Beckham house when David wants people to leave?’ she said. ‘He literally walks around the room blowing out the candles hoping that people will get the hint!’
Fans soon called the move ‘iconic’, with many sharing other strategies for the pesky problem.
‘My Mum would disappear and come back in her dressing gown! Blunt!’ one fan shared.
Another added: ‘My friend’s dad used to come out of the bathroom brushing his teeth if he wanted people to leave.’
Recently, Metro asked its readers what they considered an acceptable time to kick guests out after a meal together. Several people said by 11pm, they were ‘wilting’.
A number of individuals felt strongly that the most appropriate time to kick out any dinner party guest was, as user Gloria Dexter put it, ‘after they have helped with the clearing up.’
Another, Tracey Donnelly, felt equally impassioned with this opinion, adding ‘after they’ve washed the pots!’
In fact, the majority of readers who commented seemed to agree that dinner party guests hadn’t truly fulfilled their duty until they’d got their hands on the Fairy Liquid.
Would you expect guests to do the washing up before they go?
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Yes! It's a kind gestureCheck
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No - if I'm the host, I should be the one to wash upCheck
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I'm not fussedCheck
Others, of course, were slightly more gracious.
Danny Saleem took a practical approach, sharing: ‘The best thing is to tell them when the dinner party will be finishing. So, if the party starts at 7:00pm then people should leave by 9:00pm, or even 10:00pm, no later than that.’
Some also pointed out that if you’re close enough with your guests, this conundrum doesn’t really exist.
‘If you feel you need to kick anyone out at any time, don’t invite them. Your good friends should know when to leave graciously…’ Jenny Feofiloff wrote.
How do different cultures end the party?
Brits aren’t the only ones who can be precious about their bedtime. So, how do other cultures signal to guests that it’s time to go home?
Historically, in Japan, particularly in Kyoto, it was customary to offer guests a bowl of ochazuke (rice soaked in green tea, also known locally as bubuzuke). While less common today, the dish became known as a subtle social cue that a host was ready for the visit to come to an end.
Rather than accepting the bowl, a guest who picked up on the hint would typically politely decline, replying with something along the lines ofreply with something along the lines of ‘Oh, thank you so much but I should be heading off now.’
In Germany, things appear to be slightly more overt.
In 2023, the phrase ‘Ich fühle mich jetzt genug besucht’ began trending on social media. It roughly translates to ‘I am feeling visited enough’, and is apparently something people can say as a deliberately direct way of signalling that they want guests to leave their home.
On Reddit, a number of German citizens have also shared that physical cues like crossing their arms and legs or placing both hands flat on their knees, standing up and exclaiming ‘So, da wären wir!’ which translates to ‘Alright, then!’ can sometimes be used.
An expert’s opinion on kicking guests out the house
‘There seems to be a particular kind of British agony for the host when a guest doesn’t take a hint to leave,’ etiquette expert Laura Windsor tells Metro.
‘The plates are cleared, the coffee is cold, the host sighs, the conversation has lulled, the yawns are becoming more noisy and frequent, nobody wants to be rude. But someone has to bring the evening to an end.’
If the usual techniques don’t work, such as mentioning an early morning wake-up, Laura notes that you could also perhaps ‘start stacking plates and take them out to the kitchen.’
‘If that doesn’t work,’ she continues, ‘you could perhaps start running the vacuum around their feet, start spraying the table with polish or worse ask them to join in some manual labour and help in the kitchen – such as clean the dishes whilst hiding the dishwasher.’
@homosapienspodcast @William Hanson shares his tips to get your guests to leave at the end of an evening. Episode 258 available wherever you get your podcasts. Search ‘Homo Sapiens Podcast’ 🎙️✨ #homosapienspodcast #williamhanson #etiquette #etiquettetips #dinnerpartyhack #chrissweeney #podcast
♬ original sound – Homosapiens
That being said, in Laura’s opinion, unless your guests are close friends or family it is ‘rather inappropriate’ to ask a guest to help out at the end of a dinner.
‘The very definition of a guest is just to be there and be looked after. The host’s job is everything else,’ she adds.
Meanwhile, etiquette guru William Hanson advises asking: ‘Can I get anyone anything else?’, or asking what their plans are for tomorrow, to draw attention to the next day.
The main thing to remember is that what might feel perfectly natural and courteous to one person may seem totally uncomfortable to another.
At the end of the day, Laura notes, ‘Good etiquette is about recognising those differences, and understanding that boundary is the key to polite behaviour.’