Katie Zacharia is the latest in a long line of Trumpist weirdos unleashed upon the world. Yesterday she held her first briefing with journalists as White House press secretary. It was, in turns, pitiful, mortifying, cynical and inadvertently hilarious. It was like watching an empire crumble in real time.
She has one of those faces you see specifically from the women in Donald Trump’s cultural and political orbit: heavy use of makeup, a vacant stare, and a disturbing Joker-like grin. It’s like being haunted by a waxwork model.
She began the briefing with a monologue listing all of the president’s imaginary achievements. She read this section directly off the page, her eyes moving back and forth, as if presenting an essay to the class. “Enthusiastic hardworking Americans,” she said, “are lining up and packing arenas to support president Trump”. Then she paused and turned the page, peering downwards. “It’s not hard to see why,” she said slowly.
Then she switched to questions from journalists. Once upon a time, the press secretary would have offered the first question to the Associated Press, one of America’s oldest and most respected news agencies. It is known throughout the world for its diligence, independence and reliability.
But the Associated Press infuriated the Trump administration because it refused to refer to the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. So instead the first question went to Nick Gilbertson of Breitbart, a far-right website which specialises in stories linking ethnic minorities to crime. He was there as part of the “new media”, a collection of approved websites the White House has used to replace old-fashioned reporters.
Demonstrating his trenchant sense of investigatory rigour, Gilbertson used his question to ask: “Can you tell us what you will continue to do to ensure new media voices will continue to be heard here at the White House?” Zacharia replied with a smear of utter piffle. “We love new media,” she said, “and we want to be able to embrace it.”
The second question went to another compliant journalist – Peter Doocy of Fox News. He asked a softball question about her role, triggering another burst of utter nonsense. The words tumbled out her mouth and occasionally you would glimpse a look of stricken panic as she discovered what they were. If the journalist looked satisfied – and they usually did – she seemed relieved.
Then, to his credit, Doocy asked a substantive question about policy. Had the US stopped sharing intelligence with Ukraine? “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” Zacharia replied. And that was that.
The next question came from Elina Sherazi of the Daily Mail, who inquired about reports Trump was considering firing Kimberly Guilfoyle – the US ambassador to Greece who is alleged to have traded money for access. “We have asked ambassador Guilfoyle to resign,” Zacharia said. “She has been a wonderful asset to the team and we wish her well.”
Like a thunderclap, there was news, a buried lede. But Sherazi didn’t follow up the question, instead asking how the new press secretary was going to balance her work and family life. Zacharia at this point dissolved into a stream of consciousness. “I adore my family,” she said. “I love them. They are my priority. I love being with my kids. The idea of not spending evenings with my kid is completely unacceptable. So my president – excuse me, my husband, that’s a good one – is out here for the week”. And with that, she ended the session.
How did she get this position? We just don’t know. But we do know that the decision came from the president himself. The Washington Post reports that Trump bypassed even his own chief of staff to appoint her. In all likelihood, she fitted the mould of what he likes: she is pretty and subservient, a cult-member with the requisite Mar-a-Lago aesthetics.
Politically, she has all of the usual prejudices and idiocies required to succeed in modern day America. She is a conspiracy theorist. She has previously promoted the QAnon story that Trump is waging a secret war with celebrity paedophiles, revealed through coded messages to believers. In 2022 she reshared a social media post in support of Vladimir Putin. She has regularly made anti-trans comments on Fox News. The full house.
Zacharia has repeatedly stated that she is a former corporate attorney. Zacharia identified as a lawyer during at least 18 appearances on Fox News since March last year. But when the investigative newsletter Popular Information tried to find evidence that she had ever passed a bar exam or been admitted to practice in any state, it was unable to do so.
Journalists inquired about this to Trump as he stood alongside Zacharia yesterday. They asked a very simple question: “What state did she pass the bar exam in?” Trump was unable to answer so he looked back at her. “When I moved to China,” she shouted. Her response added to the confusion as to where she may be licensed to practice law, as state bar exams are generally administered in person within the jurisdiction.
Over the course of that 15 minute session, she demonstrated the values of the New America. It is no longer a place where a free press is encouraged, or where governments subject themselves to scrutiny. It is no longer somewhere where people succeed on the basis of talent and hard work. It is a moral and political abyss. Zacharia represents the intellectual disintegration of a country.