Episode 7 of the second series of The Celebrity Traitors was a tense one. After a risky murder in plain sight, traitors Maya Jama, King Kenny and James Acaster managed to successfully kill Ross Kemp. His dramatic celebrations and hilarious paranoia will be missed – but there was little time for the players to catch their breath. The next day’s mission put the traitors in another difficult position: sabotaging the faithful right under their noses.
During a high-stakes blindfold challenge, the players had to rely on their hearing to work out who was behind the sabotage. One player, in particular, appeared to pick up on a telling clue, and the theory she shared could point straight to a traitor: ‘The floorboard theory’. Miranda Hart just proved she’s identified a traitor – here’s how.
What is Miranda’s ‘floorboard theory’?
During the challenge, the players had to build puzzles in the shape of a shield to protect themselves from that night’s murder. The traitors, meanwhile, had a challenge of their own: after each round, the players had to stop building and put on blindfolds, giving the traitors a chance to move around the room and sabotage the faithfuls’ puzzles in order to both sabotage their protection from murder and build a shield themselves to win money for the prize pot. It was a tricky spot for the traitors, who had to weigh up the chance to win money for their charities, while possibly outing themselves.
The traitors had to move among the faithfuls – and therein lies the problem. Although everyone was blindfolded, they could still hear footsteps and feel movement, and try to use these senses to work out where the traitors were coming from.
That is exactly what national treasure Miranda Hart did. She has already shown herself to be an excellent player, calmly leading discussions in the castle and asking poised, composed questions at the round table. She’s astute and not quick to point the finger – both useful qualities in a faithful. Now she’s putting her self-proclaimed ‘Miss Marple’ skills to the test, convinced she may have identified a traitor.
In last night’s episode, Miranda told a small group of faithfuls that she thought she had both heard and felt the floorboards move beside her. In a private conversation with Kenny, she said, ‘To my left, every time, the floor bounced.’ She added that it felt as though somebody was moving away.
If Miranda is right, that could suggest the traitor was standing beside her – a clue that would narrow down who at least one of them might be and open up the whole game. But she needs to be careful. She can’t go in all guns blazing with her theory – we’ve already seen how a misjudged accusation could backfire or send her in the wrong direction altogether. But we’ve seen signs that suggest Miranda is far too clever for that.
How is she going to use the ‘floorboard theory’ to catch a traitor?
When James Blunt asked Miranda what she thought the theory had taught her, she named Joanne and Maya as her suspects. She had raised her suspicions about the floorboards with fellow faithful Joanne, telling her she might ask her some questions at the round table that night.
Miranda said to Joanne, ‘The whole bloody floorboard moved every single time,’ implying she thought Joanne had been sneaking off. Of course, we know Joanne is innocent – and Joanne knows it, too. So, she was understandably taken aback by Miranda’s suggestion. ‘The fact that you’ve said that to me now, and I know so much myself how not true that is, that makes me suspicious of you now.’ Her reaction showed exactly how a mistaken assumption can backfire.
Accusing Joanne may create a little tension for Miranda, but Joanne’s response could have a useful side-effect: it might steer Miranda towards the right suspect. A traitor is unlikely to get that emotional and chaotic.
Miranda had narrowed it down to two people: Joanne or Maya. At the round table, she said, ‘I’d like to declare the bouncing floorboard theory debunked,’ and apologised in case anyone had found it accusatory. But does she really believe it’s debunked? We’re not convinced. It could be that she suspects she’s on to something and is trying to keep herself out of the line of fire.
If Miranda no longer suspects Joanne, that leaves Maya – who, of course, is a traitor. Miranda has been careful not to bring her theory about Maya to the round table just yet. She hasn’t shared it with enough people to be sure she’d have the votes to banish her. Accusing Maya without support could also put Miranda in danger, as the traitors might try to protect Maya by targeting her.
We think Miranda has correctly narrowed down her floorboard theory to Maya Jama, but is biding her time before making a formal accusation. It could be just the sort of tactic that helps the faithfuls catch their next traitor. Maya later admitted she was relieved Miranda had dropped the theory, saying, ‘I can breathe again… I can’t believe I am here to tell the story; I thought it was hometime.’ Perhaps Miranda’s apparent retreat has lulled her into a false sense of security. Still, things are rarely that simple in the castle. Watch out, Maya – Miranda Marple is on the case.