Five minutes before her wedding was supposed to begin, one bride looked at me and asked a question I never expected to hear.
"Can you help me call this off?"
The venue was full, months of planning had gone into the day, and everything was ready. Yet, standing there in her dress, moments before walking down the aisle, she realized that she could not go through with it.
Another bride had booked me, met with me and led me to believe she wanted me to stand with her on her big day, all to find out she actually wanted my help calling it off.
People are always surprised when I tell them stories like this. They assume my job is all champagne toasts, flower arrangements, lavish vineyards and picking shades of blush pink, but after more than a decade working as a professional bridesmaid, I have learned that weddings often reveal much more than love.
‘I Do Everything Your Real Best Friend Would Do’
I started Bridesmaid for Hire in 2014 after realizing that so many brides need someone by their side who is not a friend or relative, but rather a professional who could help them navigate the stress, drama and unexpected challenges that come with getting hitched.
What began as a buzzy idea in my bedroom quickly took on a life of its own. I posted an advertisement on Craigslist offering my services as a professional bridesmaid, and the response was overwhelming. Eventually, my millennial gig turned into a fully-fledged business that has allowed me to work with couples all over the world.
At its core, my job is simple, I become the support system people need during one of the most emotionally charged periods of their lives.
I am hired to be a bride's behind-the-scenes support system. I do everything your real best friend would do, except I am a stranger. I handle family drama, give a maid of honor speech, plan the bachelorette and more. The catch is that usually it is a secret. The bride does not tell anyone she hired me, not even the person she is marrying.
I have a fake name and backstory. I blend into their life.
...
That may sound unusual, but weddings are often the hardest and most complicated times in a person's life. I have spent more than a decade witnessing what really happens behind the scenes, and I have learned that there is often a huge difference between how a relationship looks online and what is happening in real life.
Over the years, Bridesmaid for Hire has expanded far beyond standing beside someone at the altar.
We now offer wedding tools and services to help couples write speeches, plan bachelorette parties, organize day-of itineraries, sort honeymoon destinations, navigate elopements and manage the countless logistical and emotional challenges that come with modern marriage.
The business has grown in ways I never could have imagined, and the company generates revenue in a variety of ways, from its flagship stand-in bridesmaid package to its vow-writing products, party planning resources and tools. We also sell a course that teaches how to become professional bridesmaids, along with books and a card game.
The number of weddings I work on varies from year-to-year, but these days my role looks very different than it did when I started at just 26. I spend about 25 hours a week on the business, which includes Bridesmaid for Hire, writing as an author, creating content and managing life as an entrepreneur.
The rest of the time, I am something else entirely: a mom.
When the workday ends, I go home to my 3½-year-old and focus on family life. It is a sharp contrast to the emotional intensity of the wedding world, where every decision can feel monumental and can carry life-changing consequences.
Making and Breaking, Weddings
Indeed, one of the most surprising things I have discovered is that not everyone who contacts me wants help making their wedding happen.
Sometimes they want help ending it.
I have had people reach out because they are having serious doubts about the person they are marrying, feel pressured by family or finances to move forward, or simply do not know how to have the difficult conversation about calling things off.
That reality behind the wedding industry is rarely discussed. We are taught to celebrate engagements, bridal showers and wedding days as inevitable milestones that everyone should follow. What we do not talk about nearly enough is the enormous pressure people feel to keep moving forward, even when something does not feel right.
Despite what some people assume, I do not intentionally sabotage weddings or manufacture drama. That has never been my role. Instead, I help people navigate difficult conversations, think through their options and figure out how to handle incredibly emotional situations.
Sometimes that means calming a bride whose family is fighting during rehearsal dinner. Sometimes it means helping write a speech. Sometimes it means reminding somebody to eat on their wedding day.
And sometimes it means helping them face a truth they have been trying to avoid.
Perhaps the biggest lesson I have learned from this work is that sometimes the bravest thing someone can do is not walk down the aisle, but to decide not to.
Jen Glantz, 38, is the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. The New York-based entrepreneur is also the author of Finally the Bride, a memoir about her life as a hired bridesmaid.
Newsweek’s reporters and editors used Martyn, our AI assistant, to produce this story. Learn more about Martyn here.
Contact Newsweek editors on this story: Sirena Bergman and Paul Donnelley.