Cold winters and empty rooms: the hidden ache of student isolation

Yuki Teng is one of the 6496 international students studying at the Australian National University (ANU) who are a long way from home. And while she is far from alone in trying to build a life in Canberra, she is lonely.

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"I felt very isolated. The winter was very cold, and I could barely see anyone on the street, in my apartment, or at school at that time. I was feeling low and uncomfortable," Ms Teng said.

Yuki Teng, an international student from China studying at ANU, has experienced loneliness living in Canberra. Picture by Karleen Minney

Ms Teng arrived in Canberra in July to study anthropology. Living alone in a studio apartment, she found herself physically in Canberra but her heart and mind were back in China, 8000 kilometres away.

"At first, all of my connections were online. I video-called and talked to my friends and family on WeChat every day," she said.

Ms Teng's experience is a common one for the estimated 690,000 international students who are living in Australia while studying at university.

Canberra's universities recognise the difficulties international students face adjusting to life in the capital. The ANU provides counselling services for isolated or lonely students.

University of Canberra director of medical and counselling, Dr Chris Dickie, said students had access to programs such as UC Thrive, which includes peer mentoring and dedicated international student events.

Students can also access support for cultural adjustment, join activities, clubs and societies and seek support from wellbeing and psychological services.

Ms Teng spent two months getting used to life and connecting more with this city.

"I started my part-time jobs, I met more people through social media such as RedNote and Reddit, joined more clubs, went out hiking and did more activities more often."

Slowly, Ms Teng began to build a life outside her studio apartment.

"I found myself identifying as a temporary resident in this city," Ms Teng said.

Yuki Teng with friends Siri Niu and Tony Bing. Picture by Karleen Minney

Even after meeting new people and becoming more familiar with Canberra, Ms Teng still feels a sense of loss. She feels the friendships that she has made here are temporary, and that the connections she has built may not last.

Wennan He came to Canberra 15 years ago as an international student, not knowing that the city would eventually become his home.

He was feeling profoundly lonely when he first came.

Since then, Mr He has watched many friends graduate, move interstate and return to their home country.

"People come and go. After 15 years, I've probably gone through that cycle many, many times," he said.

Wennan He has lived in Canberra for 15 years. Picture supplied.

After years of watching friendships change, Mr He has learnt that staying connected means continuing to reach out.

Mr He said that it helps to participate in university clubs, get out more, and meet new people. As you make more friends, your social circle expands. You have more people to get together with for activities, and having that social network makes you feel less lonely.

"Just join something, talk to people after class, go to events, play a sport, get a part-time job, accept invitations etc," he said.

Ms Teng is also trying to do the same. She considers that it is "not only just coming for studying, but also finding more things to enrich my life".

Now, she is feeling more connected to Canberra while building relationships and creating a life here.

For international students, building a sense of connection may take time. And sometimes, the people who help create that feeling may leave.

"Fifteen years ago, I never imagined Canberra would become such a big part of my life. Sometimes a place doesn't feel like home immediately, you build that feeling little by little," Mr He said.

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