An increasing number of over-60s are choosing not to retire. With rising life expectancies and gradual increases in state pension ages, the number of workers aged 65 and over has grown by nearly 1 million since 2000, rising from 457,000 to approximately 1.43 million.
Ingrid Morgan, 78, based in Tunbridge Wells, works for her two sons, Tobie, 39, and Jaime, 41, at their AI and data company, SurrealDB. Here, she shares what it’s like working for her sons well into her retirement years. As told to MaryLou Costa.
My sons, Tobie and Jaime, have always been very entrepreneurial. They started a business early on – Jaime had just finished university, and Tobie was still there. They were living together in a flat in London and started to do website design, which evolved into whole IT systems.
But of course they couldn’t do any of the admin. So who did that? It was me. Both of them worked all hours from the start, so time came into it, but so did a lack of experience with admin and finance-related tasks.
Many moons ago, I had been an assistant company secretary, and I also had to carry on and deal with my father’s engineering business when he died. So finance and admin were things I could easily to tackle.
They just assumed that if something needed doing that they couldn’t do, I would do it. And I did, because really, I enjoyed it. And now, I am able to wallow in a deep sense of pride in Jaime and Tobie’s achievements – about which I would hear very little if I were not so involved in the business.
From the earliest days, I was roped in to do anything, from legal tasks to bookkeeping. I even ended up talking to and finding clients, and going to meetings and conferences. I led on recruitment for a bit too. There were always aspects of the boys’ businesses for which I could offer my experience – copy for websites, communications with clients, promotional material, design.
I genuinely enjoy being able to help them, and go on a learning curve together – for instance, learning how to deal successfully with lawyers and accountants.
I worked from home at the beginning and often still do – even working from hotels on holiday. I do like to spend as much time in the office as possible though. I absolutely love being in the office. There’s always something exciting happening – announcements of triumphs, new work tackled, visits from overseas employees, seeing and hearing compliments from investors and clients, interviews and podcasts by staff and fun events.
I love all the staff and I do feel motherly towards them all – even grandmotherly, as some are in their twenties. Some of them probably thought at first: “Who is this elderly person?”
The product used to be much simpler, and now it’s frankly jolly hard. The boys have created a technology that helps companies combine multiple databases into one platform. They’ve also created a memory-storing system for AI agents.
I’m now dealing with AI on a minute-by-minute basis, and I’ve become really passionate about it. I even read about it for leisure.
I’ve been a journalist and editor my whole career. I did travel writing for a long time, and the boys would always come with me, so they’ve always seen me work, and they just assumed I would carry on – and I have. I know people my age who were very capable in their careers and now do very little. I couldn’t cope with that.
I don’t want to be rude about people my age, but I do think there is a danger that, if you’re not involved in something, you’ll become dull.
Technically, I worked for free for my sons for over 20 years. As their business activities became increasingly important, I have done less and less paid journalism and editing.
SurrealDB was incorporated in 2021, and we raised investor funding in 2024. I was then officially put on the books. I don’t recall having a discussion about what I’d be paid. Frankly, I was pleased to be paid anything after 20 years of absolutely nothing.
I muck in wherever I’m needed. Tobie often works late and will send me messages at 2am asking me to check something. And of course I do. I’m an editor. He never asks if I’m up. I think there’s an assumption that because they work all hours, I do.
They were in San Francisco last week, which is eight hours behind, and needed some books printed, so I was up most of one night dealing with printers over there to get it all sorted. Then, they needed the books for their next trip to New York, so I had to figure all that out too.
They actually made me redundant for a bit last year. We were growing massively and quickly, so we had to restructure, and they couldn’t employ me in any of the specific roles they had available. But they would still ask me to check things for them. I wasn’t going to say no.
I get no leeway at all
Now, I’m officially on a three-day-a-week contract. Really, I work full-time, and then some, but I do still take time out to meet friends for lunch, and I still do some voluntary work with charities. I attend meetings, and I’m on Slack.
If you asked me if I miss being retired like most people my age would be, the answer would be no. The boys’ father is an academic and has been less involved in the company.
I know I am slower than I used to be. A lot of it’s very complex stuff – dealing with hundreds of different files open at the same time, and lots of apps. The boys don’t accept it at all. They just assume that I’m exactly the same as I used to be, and get cross.
I get absolutely no leeway at all. They expect me to meet deadlines like everyone else. They try to call me “Ingrid” at work, but inevitably, they end up calling me “Mum”. I don’t mind. People just laugh about it.
They joke about me in the office and tell me off, but I’m used to it, and honestly, I’m just so pleased to be there. They do drive me insane sometimes, so I have to keep my thoughts to myself.
They’re very different and have different skills, so they’re not jealous of each other, but they fought constantly growing up. They’re chalk and cheese, but in a way, that’s what makes the company. Tobie is last-minute on everything, and Jaime gets everywhere three hours too early. They’ve had to stop travelling together.
I asked them what they think about working with me. Jaime says it’s hard to win an argument with someone who has known you since birth – and it’s true, I know lots about them and all of their issues. But he says he values my directness, and that I tell them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear, and that makes them better founders.
My responsibilities don’t end with work
Jaime has three children now and Tobie has two, so I’m also on grandparent duty. I help more with Tobie’s as he’s in London, while Jaime’s in Nottingham.
When I’m in the office, Tobie will say: “I’m meant to be doing school pick-up now, but I’ve got a meeting – can you do it?” Then I rush out of the office. Work and family are completely blended, and both are exhausting. The children are more exhausting. And if we’re having a family meal on the weekend – or even on holiday together – the conversation will inevitably turn towards work.
I wonder if I’ll still be working for my sons when I’m 90, when we’ll all be surrounded by robots. I really hope I will be. Although, I suppose they will have to get rid of me when I lose my marbles.
They are tough taskmasters, and they don’t treat me with kid gloves. However, now and then they express their appreciation, or offer some public praise. And I take it as a compliment when I get a midnight request to check something through – and they usually take my advice if they ask for it.
In all seriousness, they know that they can count on me for anything, and they trust me. I think that is what family businesses are about – we may argue, but underneath it all there’s an imperceptible bond.