I grew up with three sisters. It was loud, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
The sister dynamic is a special one. There are always squabbles, but at some point we looked at each other and realised: oh, you’re actually quite fun.
Since then, we’ve all been close. The problem is finding time to spend together as adults.
Between work and life admin, time with my sisters often feels impossible. So, I wanted to know what happens when we deliberately make time to reconnect.
Psychologist Jo Stuart says sibling relationships, like any other, require attention.
‘If we don’t invest in them, it becomes more difficult to connect with that person,’ she explains.
All too often, Jo notes, coffees and dinners become a list of life updates. Going away gives you space to move past the surface-level catch-up.
‘Holidays can be that kind of forced extended space where other conversations open up,’ she adds.
That was enough to spur me into taking my sister for a spa staycation. Destination: Hoar Cross Hall, in Staffordshire.
As well as boasting one of Europe’s largest state-of-the-art spas, this hotel has all the amenities and then some, including archery and axe throwing and mimosas at check-in.
We took one look at each other and knew we’d enjoy our stay.
Relaxing together
First stop: dropping our bags in our room, which had one of the biggest beds I’ve seen and two baths in one bathroom.
Naturally, we reverted to our inner children and did a jump test before planning our itinerary and compromising if anything clashed.
Then it was down to business with a sleep session, a water sound bath and a sauna experience. I’m normally a wimp, but this involved a woman dramatically fanning everyone while aromatherapy scents filled the room.
Turns out I do like heat; I just need someone to dance around me.
We got chatting to two women, also sisters, and, just like us, two of four siblings on a staycation.
We bonded over how hard it is to make time for each other as you get older, but all agreed it’s worth the effort.
In the most sibling way possible, my sister and I then decided who was getting what spa treatment by sticking our names into an online generator. The outcome, of course, had to be fair.
I got the 60-minute face and body rituals using Grown Alchemist; she did the same, with ELEMIS Expert.
I’d never used Grown Alchemist before, but I loved the products, and Zoe, who did my treatment, was amazing.
I left with a full skincare routine, which I’m pleased to say I’ve actually stuck to. But back to the psychology of it all.
Jo Stuart explains that families assign us roles when we’re young, often subconsciously.
The chatty one, the quiet one, the responsible one, the baby. Those characters can become ‘written in stone’.
Going away together, she says, ‘allows them to see you, and you to see them, in a different light outside of the family, as an adult.’
As the youngest sister, I really like that.
The gift of time
Food is a major part of my family relationships: big dinners, elaborate desserts and conversations that stretch on for hours with retellings of stories that everyone has heard and knows they will hear again.
I loved that our meals were included at Hoar Cross Hall because there was no debate about where to go or who was paying.
We could just sit, eat, and talk.
For dinner, I had the slow-cooked braised beef and it was excellent, so soft and tender. The wine wasn’t included in the package, but we didn’t mind paying extra because the selection was so good.
Our waiter Alexa offered us several tasters and talked us through each wine with such enthusiasm that choosing what to drink became part of the experience itself.
That said, there were other extras that I would have expected to be included in the price. Things like additional vegetables with dinner, coffee at breakfast and flip-flops for the spa all came at an extra cost.
None of it was enough to take away from the stay, but I would have expected them to be included.
What I loved about all of the meal times at Hoar Cross Hall, though, was that they really gave space to just stop and catch up with my sister.
With nowhere else to be, we moved from everyday updates into old memories, family drama, hopes, and conversations you can’t fit into a two-hour catch-up.
I recalled something Jo had said: ‘If we don’t nurture things, if we don’t spend time, then we begin to drift.’
It’s a lesson we could all do with learning.
I’ll always remember Hoar Cross Hall as the place that taught me how precious time really is.
One-night spa stays start from £210 per person per night in November.