A few years ago, I found myself in a place where I had to make a really tough decision.
We had just bought the home of our dreams and were going to move in a couple of weeks. Then circumstances changed. My husband and I began wondering whether moving in was the right thing to do.
I wish the answer had been a clear yes or an outright no. It would have spared me sleepless nights and endless arguments with myself, and sometimes with my husband.
Eight days went by. All the thinking, analyzing, and weighing the pros and cons had completely exhausted me. I wished someone would wave a magic wand and the perfect answer would fall from the skies.
The next day, it did. I was standing at my window, looking out as dusk descended on the evening in a warm embrace of soft peachy pink. And I broke down in tears.
Partly exhaustion. Largely relief.
Some people call this intuition. I like to call it the soul’s knowing. Because something in us always knows. We just don’t have faith in it—unless all our other ways have left us nowhere.
When I felt calmer, I looked back out the window, and suddenly but softly, my soul spoke.
Moving in is not the right thing at this time.
Instead of the perfect answer that I was desperate for, I had found an answer that just felt right. And that was enough.
And in that moment, I realized that right has a conviction to it that perfect can never match.
Most of us face, will face, or have faced decisions that are ambiguous and complicated. Decisions that involve other people. Decisions that contain conflicting needs, values, or longings.
Trying to work through them with our reasoning capacities will almost always bring us to our knees because reason was never made for complexity. It was made for simpler problem-solving. Which flight will get me into Seattle in time for my meeting?
But most of the important decisions we face are far more complex. The data is so vast that the conscious brain cannot hold it all in one place.
This is why we can keep revisiting our decisions, especially in the silence of the night when the less tangible and measurable aspects of the situation rise in importance.
The head doesn’t know what to do with them, so it ignores them, even though these are the very aspects that can point us in the right direction because they are connected to the deepest longings of our heart.
Most of us will struggle to access our intuition because it surfaces in the quieter, self-referential part of the brain known as the default mode network. But the network that offers insight and houses our sense of self is also where rumination lives. So instead of hearing our inner voice, we hear self-criticism and self-doubt.
We can grow up in perfectly secure homes with love and laughter. And we can still be stuck trying to engineer control into a decision that needs something entirely different.
The trust that, regardless of what happens, we will be okay.
Intuition needs a different set of beliefs because fear and intuition exist on two different continuums. One helps us function. The other helps us flourish.
Based on my research on Optimal Self-Esteem, I have identified the six implicit beliefs that are in service of self-actualization. I call them soul truths because we are born with them.
6 Soul Truths
Here are the six soul truths. I invite you to see which one(s) you have forgotten and/or will help you most at this time in your life.
Intuition Essential Reads
1. All Is Well
There is no courtroom. Nothing here is on trial, and that includes me.
People with this belief can be in a situation before deciding whether it is good or bad. They hear criticism without it becoming a verdict and praise without needing it as proof.
2. I Am Good
My inherent nature is beautiful. I do not have to prove it.
This is someone who does not feel the need to be or look a certain way, or achieve certain things, to win love or feel they belong. Someone who can admit a mistake without it meaning anything about their sense of self-worth.
3. I Am Love
I give love, and I receive love. It is what I am made of.
This is the person for whom love is the full expression of who they are. They can give love without demands attached, receive love without feeling undeserving of it, and set boundaries where boundaries are needed.
4. I Matter
I have a place in the world. My presence makes a difference.
People who know they matter have a certain drive and fierceness that no amount of external rewards can impart. They are shining their own light in their way for their own tribe.
5. I Can
Challenges and setbacks do not make me smaller. I grow through it all.
This is someone who meets life with a sense of agency rather than helplessness. They have an abiding trust in their ability to grow through it all.
6. I Trust
Life will meet me, and I can meet it. I am held as I hold.
This is the person who is fully open to whatever life brings their way. They are not waiting for the right conditions. They are not hooked on a certain outcome. They are the embodiment of a flourishing person, taking themselves lightly and their work seriously.
None of these soul truths need to be learned. They simply need to be remembered, because the stronger your ground, the higher your growth.
A Prompt to Explore
Think of a situation where you feel stuck or slowed down. What is the soul truth you have forgotten? What does grounding yourself in it open up for you? What is the insight that emerges?