I've given GTA 5's cars Bond-style ejector seats

Following my experience being abducted by a small yellow taxi, something has become clear to me: I need a means to escape. The trauma of my kidnapping experience cannot be repeated. I have installed Eject for Grand Theft Auto 5, a mod that lets you punch out of vehicles at a moment's notice.

"A simple little fun script that allows you to eject from vehicles and parachute down," reads the mod's description—a claim which is 50% true. You can, indeed, eject from vehicles at the push of a button, but the parachuting down part is more of a screaming plummet. We make do.

The mod's defaults are relatively anaemic. Its "Force" setting sits at a measly 150. 150 what? No idea, but that's a small number, so I immediately increased it to 10,000. I also tried increasing it to 100,000, which seemed to crash the game on launch.

And then, off I went, sailing through the streets of Los Santos in my shiny car in the night (sometimes in the day) and whacking the eject key to hop out. The mod has not quite mastered preservation of momentum, so my attempts to, for instance, leap across an overpass and land safely back in my car, met mostly with failure. And by mostly I mean entirely.

Still, it did let me do this, so I'm calling it a mixed success.