Jackie Tohn’s Esther Is Getting Her Groove Back in Nobody Wants This Season 3

A good manicure can change a woman’s life. Just ask Jackie Tohn.

When the actress and I catch up over Zoom ahead of the season 3 premiere of Nobody Wants This, she tells me about a set of long nails she got for an awards show shortly before filming. “Oh, my God, this totally changes how I feel about myself, how I carry myself, how I feel about my hands,” she recalls thinking. She loved them so much that she decided to keep them for the shoot. “I’m sorry, I’m [a] long-nail, gorgeous girl,” she jokes.

The timing couldn’t have been better. Tohn’s character, Esther, is entering a new chapter this season, finding her footing outside of her marriage to Sasha (Timothy Simons), starting a career in real estate, and dipping her freshly manicured fingers back into the dating pool. She’s dressing the part, too, with a more polished wardrobe to match her newfound confidence.

And the nails are hardly the only thing Tohn is excited to talk about. When I ask whether she and her co-stars have a group chat, she doesn’t just confirm it exists. “Baby, you know we have a group chat,” she says, pulling out her phone to read me a few recent exchanges. Among them? Photos of dogs in Halloween costumes, sent by none other than her on-screen husband.

Between the group chat updates and a surprisingly passionate discussion about kugel, Tohn and I discuss Esther’s romantic future, the familiar actor she helped bring onto the show, and her refreshingly unconventional take on weddings. Read our conversation below.

Early in the season, Esther tells Sasha, “I don’t even know who I am. I want to discover myself. You should do the same.” By the end of the season, do you think she’s accomplished that?

That’s a great question. I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s cut-and-dry or black-and-white like that. Because they got together when they were very young, Esther was just doing what she saw the people around her do. Okay, well, I met this guy. I love him. Then let’s—oh, we got pregnant. Okay, well, we’re getting married, and then we have Miriam. It’s interesting with life and with women especially; these things sort of happen and you’re like, “I’m on the right track.” But you’re never stopping to ask yourself whether or not it’s what you want. You’re just like, “Okay, we’re doing it.” And I think that’s what happened with Esther.

She does love Sasha. And ultimately, if given the opportunity to figure herself out, maybe he is who she would have picked if she sat and thought about it. But all she’s realizing is she didn’t sit and think about it. And now, 20 or so years together, she’s wanting to just see, which is so hard to do. Some people might think it’s selfish. It’s simultaneously selfish but courageous.

By the end, she has explored...but I think she’s still not sure. She says to him in episode 1, “You should explore too.” And then by the end of the season she’s like, “Damn it, he explored too.”

What was exciting about getting to play this version of Esther that explores who she is outside of being a wife and a mom?

This version of Esther is so much lighter. She doesn’t objectively have less responsibility, but she feels like she does, especially because being with Sasha and having Miriam was like having two kids.

She was doing a lot of double parenting, and that’s lifted off her shoulders. And also Miriam’s older. She’s 14 or 15 now. Esther doesn’t have a little kid anymore. There is a sort of cuteness about her and a levity and flirtiness to her. I don’t know that we’ve ever seen Sasha and Esther be flirty because they’ve been together for 17 years.

It’s cute watching what it looks like when Esther doesn’t need to be the authority figure to both her husband and her kid, and when she’s like, “Oh, my gosh, I get to be out here.” I mean, she gets a little crazy. She loses it for a second, but I think she’s lighter.

We finally get to see Esther dating this season. What did you enjoy about exploring that side of her with Julian, her new love interest?

Can you believe? I have long loved Steven Weber. We met at a charity event....Backstage, me, Steven, and [actor] Eric McCormack were like a trio of idiots. We were just cracking each other up and having the best time.

And then a couple years later, Steven and I played against each other on Celebrity Jeopardy!, and then this character comes into the [Nobody Wants This] script and they can’t figure out which direction they want to go, what his age should be, and what actor this should be, and all of this. And I text them, “Is it Steven Weber? Tell me if it’s Steven Weber. I feel like he’s so charming and handsome and blah, blah, blah.” And it worked out, and they loved it, and they loved him, and it was super fun.

That’s the backstory there. I just think it’s really cute to see Esther like someone and be insecure and all the things you do when you’re young and dating.

Even though Esther and Sasha spend most of the season apart, there are little moments throughout that remind us of their history. And then, of course, there’s the kiss in the finale. Did you always know they would find their way back to each other in some capacity?

I didn’t think they just weren’t going to see each other for the whole season, but I knew that it was going to be more sparse than it had been in the past because she made this decision, and it comes with consequences.

It was so fun to play that stuff because Tim and I hadn’t been together all season. So other than the acting part of it, as humans, it was just so good to be together and play together, and we love each other so much. It was just like, “Hi, bud. We’ve been making this whole show without each other. What the heck?” So that was really sweet.

And it seems like Esther and Sasha sleep together after that kiss.

I don’t even think it’s suggested. I think it’s like, “Dem twos fucked.” I think it was clear that they slept together.

I once had this with an ex years ago where he was wanting to get me back. And then when he finally did, it was like, “Wait, we ended this for a reason, and now we’re just doing this thing again and playing house again.” It’s such a weird time because I think Sasha has finally sown his oats, and he’s like, “Well, I don’t know what I want.” He tells Morgan that, obviously. And then with Esther, I don’t think it is [how he feels] in the beginning of the season, where he’s just devastated.

I think he is like, “Oh, I can do my thing as well.” I think that moment is really interesting. It shows that they’re both sort of like, “Huh, okay. Maybe this is what it’s going to look like for a minute.” Maybe it is like exes hooking back up, but still it ends very—not cliffhangery, but very unfinished-businessy.

Esther has suspected there might be something between Morgan and Sasha for a long time. Finding out from Morgan and Joanne’s mom that they actually slept together feels like the confirmation of her worst suspicions. What do you think hurt Esther the most about that revelation?

With Esther, you of course understand that she’s going to be devastated that that happened, and she thought it had been happening, but arguably it wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t say she needs to take the space and take time.

I was playing it like she’s so mad at him, but kind of she did this. She’s literally dating someone else. And if she’s dating someone else and told Sasha to go sow his oats, of course we all understand that she’s so pissed at him, but it’s also like she’s got to be a little pissed at herself.

Where would you like to see Esther go from here?

Someone commented on my Instagram that they would love to see Esther make out with some girls in season 4, and I was like, “Amen, let’s go. Let’s get Esther on that Hunting Wives train.” You know what I mean? She’s just like, “Okay, I’m in a lace bra, making out with girls. I’m down.”

I’m afraid to answer this question because if it doesn’t go this way, I could just see it being everywhere like, “Well, Jackie wanted this thing to happen, and that is not what happened.”

It’s really interesting. On my Instagram—and I know social media is fake—everyone’s like, “Esther and Sasha, Esther and Sasha, I’ll die if they don’t get back together, Esther and Sasha.” And then me, Justine [Lupe], and Tim collabed on a post for the trailer. That’s not my page; I just posted it. And so many people are like, “Oh, my God, are Sasha and Morgan finally going to get together? I die for Sasha and Morgan, Sasha and Morgan.”

And I was like, “Oh, I thought everybody wanted Sasha and Esther to get back together because that’s what was shown to me.”

I don’t know. I feel like, don’t they have to get back together? But maybe I’ve been indoctrinated by the fans who want that. I don’t know. I think Sasha and Esther get back together, but I have no idea. I’m not in the writers’ room. No one’s told me shit.

Bina says early in the season that a good wedding is always grand, but Joanne and Noah ultimately do the opposite, spontaneously getting married on the beach after her mikvah. With all the wedding discourse happening online, what’s your personal wedding hot take?

I have never had a wedding on the brain. I’ve never had a white gown, me walking down an aisle....Since I was a teenager, a man getting on his knee and proposing to me has never been on my vision board.

I feel like Kristen [Bell] did it how I would’ve done it, which is just courthouse. She and Dax [Shepard], they grabbed [their daughter] Lincoln, they went and stood under a tree, and they took some pictures, but it was a courthouse situation. I think that’s always how I’ve seen it.

I love my boyfriend so much, and I definitely feel he’s my person....Though I love weddings, I love to go to them. I love to celebrate people’s love. I’ve just never been like, “Ooh, my gown, my time to shine.” I’ve had plenty of times to shine. I mean, I could stand to shut up.

You and your co-stars all seem to have such a friendly dynamic. Does the cast have a group chat?

Baby, you know we have a group chat.

Who’s the most active in it?

Let’s see, hold on, let me crack it open. I almost said what it’s called, but I don’t think I’m allowed....Oh, the last thing that was sent was dogs in a Halloween costume parade, and Tim said, “For Jackie specifically.”

And then I said, “Every single [dog] on this is making me scream and making me grip my own hands and press my nails into my palm, especially the one with the teeny tiny head in the Beetlejuice suit. Everything is making me so pissed off of cuteness. Love you guys.”

And then the last actual group text was at the Emmys when Kristen got stuck out of her seat, and Justine was like, “Who are you even talking to?” And I said, “Great question. I’ve been wondering.” And Tim says, “Ha ha ha, your face is amazing.”

And she says, “I’m always talking to everyone. How do you not know this by now?” And then she lists all the people she was talking to, so that was the most recent.

I can’t give too much tea.

There are so many guest stars this season, from Sarah Silverman and Sadie Sandler to Taylor Dearden. Was there anyone you were particularly excited to work with?

I don’t know who doesn’t love Sarah Silverman. It’s not a very unique take. I’ve been friends with Sarah for, I don’t know, eight, 10-ish years, and she’s such a mensch.

I mean, she’s such a legend and she’s specifically such a Jewish legend. So having her on “The Hot Rabbi Show,” it was only a matter of time. Come on.

It was amazing to have Sarah. She was fabulous. All the cameos were incredible this season.

If you could introduce someone to one Jewish food they might not already know, what would it be?

Well, if I want them to love it, it would be a black-and-white cookie. But if I want them to expand their horizons and also love it, but just relax and eat the fucking thing, it would be kugel.

Because I make a sweet noodle kugel that is unmatched, and it’s my mom’s recipe and my grandma’s recipe before her, and I think people don’t understand what to do with it.

It goes on the main plate, but people will put it out for dessert. And I’m like, “The sweet noodle kugel goes right next to the latke.” I mean, you do the cinnamon, you do the graham cracker crumbs on the top. It’s not healthy.

I remember there was a time when I, like everyone else, was like, “No, I’m gluten-free.” So I was making it with brown rice noodles, and I was trying to be healthy, so I was doing low-fat cottage cheese and low-fat—oh, so stupid. Just make the kugel, Jackie.

Would you and Esther be friends in real life?

One hundred percent. I know so many people just like her. Absolutely, we’d be friends.

For a lot of viewers, Esther might have been their first introduction to you as an actress, even though you’ve been performing for most of your life. Is there a side of yourself you hope audiences get to discover next?

I’ve done stand-up comedy for the better part of 15, 18 years, and I think [people have seen] that part of me, just the goofy, silly, wiseassery—although my characters are always wiseasses.

When I was playing Melrose on GLOW, there was always this sort of like, “I’m smarter than you” snark, and then you always discover that my characters have this—they’re multidimensional and have heart, and it’s charming, and, oh, wow, that hard shell really has a soft inside.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.