Jenny, a manager at a large company in Boston, has an idea she wants implemented. She knows her proposal would get immediately shot down if she pitched it out of the blue.
However, Jenny’s unusual strength is that she is willing to spend months figuring out how to get a decision made.
She uses that time to figure out who influences whom, understand individual priorities, and provide help to those she is going to ask to support her idea later.
Most people would balk at that type of lengthy process. They don’t care enough or don’t have the social skills. Jenny quite enjoys it and will happily spend six months or more playing a long game.
Others in Jenny’s organization could do what she does, but they’re not willing to go through it.
Our Strengths Are Often What We’re Willing to Do, Not Just What We’re Capable Of
In my previous writing, I introduced this idea that your strengths are things you’re willing to do that 95% of people aren’t.
Examples:
- People who are happy to fish, not necessarily catch. They’re okay with intermittent reward, or even attracted to that.
- Those who are willing to exist with uncertainty for a long time, who can delay making a decision, versus the person who likes to close open questions quickly and move on. For instance, the athlete who’s willing to travel to a race nursing an injury, and not know whether they’re actually going to be able to compete.
- The person who builds their own tool because they’re not content to put up with the flawed tool most other people in the same role use daily and tolerate as “good enough.”
- The person who is much more willing to deal with bureaucracy than someone else. The colleague who will take on projects that require submitting docs to four different agencies or who is willing to sit on committees.
- The person who is willing to learn by “mashing buttons” or asking lots of newbie questions.
- The person who doesn’t mind working with colleagues others avoid, like the company narcissist, or with people whose values they don’t share.
The 5-Question Framework I Use Now
Since I first wrote about the concept of your strengths being what 95% of other people aren’t willing to do, I've fleshed out the procedure I recommend.
Now I suggest people ask themselves a series of 5 questions.
Start by asking yourself, “What am I willing to do that 50% of people aren’t?” Then ask yourself the same question four more times, raising the percentage to 70%, 90%, 95%, and finally 99%.
At the first 50% level, your strengths are likely to be things you share with lots of other people in your field, like attention to detail or particular social skills.
Your answers will get more interesting when you get up to the higher percentages. The 95% level is where people see ways they’re different from other people in their field, and qualities that can be a positive in one context but perhaps negative in another.
For example, if you’re extremely intolerant of repetition or want to do literally everything in your own bespoke way, those highly unusual qualities are likely to be a source of differentiation and breakthroughs, but also some frustration and wasted time.
Push Yourself Beyond Stereotypical Answers
At first glance, it can seem like unusual strengths boil down to just a few contrasts, or even clichés, like:
- the cautious person vs. the risk-taker
- the lone wolf marching to the beat of their own drum vs. the person who is very socially strategic with an extensive network
When you work through the 5-question framework for yourself, try to get away from these types of answers.
Imagine a woman in commercial real estate trying to make a complicated deal work. For her, obstacles are like a red rag to a bull. She almost enjoys having another obstacle to work around. She’s already thinking of three alternative routes. She gets amped up when someone says no, or when a condition changes yet again, requiring another hurdle to be jumped. That kind of unusual strength escapes clichés associated with atypical high performers.
Why 5 Questions
You might be wondering what the point of this being a series of 5 questions is. It’s for contrast. It also helps lubricate your thinking and not miss things. For example, staggering the questions might help you think of an offshoot of a more common strength as one of your later answers.
Let yourself sit with these questions for awhile. Don't be concerned if answers don't immediately come to mind. Even after a few months of noticing your behavior through this perspective, you might identify strengths you originally overlooked.