I’m still mad about Nolan Wells. I’m still sad. I still have questions, and some nights I wake up with worry on my heart for my own sweet innocent Black baby boy. Nolan was 18. He was a wide receiver from Ocean Springs, Mississippi, with a whole life ahead of him. I’ve talked to my family and friends, and I keep thinking about Nolan’s family, who are still waiting for answers, and about our babies whose futures we’re supposed to protect.
If you’ve felt that heaviness too, you’re not alone. Some days, I feel helpless. Some days, the hopelessness creeps in and won’t leave. I’m writing this because I know a lot of us are carrying the same thing, and because I know it’s the perfect time for us to do something with it.
What We Know About Nolan’s Case
Nolan Xavier Wells disappeared after a July 4 boat trip to Horn Island. His body was found days later. The Jackson County Sheriff’s Office did not investigate his death as a homicide.
In September, a Jackson County grand jury returned a “no true bill,” meaning no one was indicted. More than three months later, the cause of his death is still unknown. The state autopsy and the independent autopsy his family commissioned both listed the cause and manner of death as undetermined. The district attorney says the case is closed. The family, through attorney Ben Crump, says it isn’t, and they’re asking for a federal investigation.
I won’t tell you what happened to Nolan. Nobody can say that yet, but his family deserves the truth. And his case shows why the answers we get depend on the people in power we choose to serve and protect us.
Some Answers Won’t Come Before Election Day
The honest truth is that some questions won’t be answered by November. Investigations take time. Autopsies, grand juries, and lawsuits move on their own schedules. Sometimes the answers never arrive at all.
That uncertainty is painful. But it doesn’t mean we’re powerless.
Power Doesn’t Require Certainty
We don’t need every answer to take meaningful action. Researchers have found that people who feel some sense of control over their lives tend to handle stress better, even when circumstances are out of their hands. Control doesn’t mean knowing everything. It means choosing what you do next.
That’s where behavioral activation comes in. Therapists use this approach when people feel stuck: you take a small, values-based step first, and the sense of agency follows. Voting works this way. You don’t have to feel sure about everything to do it. You just have to decide that your voice belongs in the room.
Choose Who Answers the Questions
A lot of the answers we’re waiting for come from people we elect. The ballot decides who holds the roles that shape what gets investigated, what gets reported, and how families get treated.
District attorneys decide what cases go before a grand jury and what evidence gets presented. Sheriffs run the offices that investigate deaths. Coroners and medical examiners determine causes of death, though how those roles get filled varies by state and county. School board members decide how discipline gets handled in your child’s school. Judges and city councils shape the rules that govern daily life. Some decisions happen at the federal level, but many of the most immediate ones happen close to home.
So when you fill out your ballot, go beyond the top race. Look up who holds these roles where you live, and ask whether you trust them to answer hard questions openly.
Ask Better Questions
Voting is one way to act. Asking good questions is another, and it doesn’t require picking a side. You can research candidates, officeholders, or local leaders:
- How do they handle investigations involving deaths or serious harm to young people?
- Are reports and findings made public? If not, why not?
- How will a candidate’s office communicate with families who are still waiting for answers?
- What will a candidate do to make sure people are treated fairly when they have questions?
Write down what you learn. Compare answers. Then vote with what you value.
Staying Steady While You Wait
When the worry gets loud, a plan can steady you:
- Pick one action you control. Check your registration. Request a mail ballot. Ask one question at your next local meeting.
- Contact a local official or office with questions. Write down your questions. Demand answers. Hold elected officials accountable to being transparent and giving information to the public.
- Limit the news loop. Check updates on a schedule, not every hour. Mute distressing hashtags and don’t engage with triggering content. Constant refreshing can feed hopelessness.
- Fine community. Connect with a friend, a loved one, or a neighbor. Waiting is easier when you’re not doing it alone.
And if the sleepless nights and the hopelessness keep showing up, that’s worth talking through with a licensed therapist. You don’t have to carry the burden by yourself.
Healing Is Collective
Shawn Ginwright’s work on radical healing reminds us that we don’t get through uncertainty alone. Healing happens in community, when people recover their voice and power together. At Nolan’s funeral in Ocean Springs, Ben Crump led the mourners in a chant that his life matters. That collective cry allows for collective healing in real time. Ignacio Martín-Baró’s liberation psychology pushes us further: instead of only helping people cope with harmful conditions, those of us who have the capacity also have the responsibility to work to change those conditions.
Keep Asking After Election Day
That means showing up after the election, too. Attend school board and county meetings. Support families who are still waiting. Keep records of what you’re told and follow up when promises slip. Staying engaged between elections is part of what makes voting matter.
Get Ready in Five Steps
Early voting is currently underway, and Election Day is Tuesday, November 3, 2026. Here’s how to be ready, wherever you live:
- Check your registration. Start at vote.gov, which links to every state’s official site. If you’re not registered, find out whether your state’s deadline has passed.
- Know your options. Find out whether your state offers early voting, mail ballots, or both, and what the deadline is to request a mail ballot.
- Find your polling place. Election Day locations can differ from early voting sites. Confirm yours before you go.
- Know the ID rules. Requirements vary, and many states require photo ID. If you need one, your election office can tell you about free options.
- Make the plan. Pick a day, a time, and a route. Put it in your phone with a reminder, and text the people you’re going with.
Nolan was 18. He would have been old enough to vote for the first time this November. You can’t control every answer. You can control whether your voice shows up in the rooms where answers get made. Pick your date. Make your plan. Let’s stay in the question together, and let’s make sure we’re part of the answer.