Locked in: Inside ‘Locktober,’ the annual, month-long kink challenge testing the limits of chastity and control

For most people, October signals the arrival of fall weather, apple cider, and Halloween parties. 

But for a section of the gay community and a growing number of straight people, the month goes by another name: Locktober, and its meaning is most definitely R-rated.

Locktober is an annual month-long celebration around chastity, observed by many in the BDSM and kink communities. Participants wear a chastity cage around their penis that prohibits them from having sex, often under the stewardship of a dominant partner who holds the key.

“For people who are in the world of BDSM (bondage and discipline) or kink, chastity actually has the opposite effect,” he explained to The Post. “It really ramps up and intensifies sexuality.”

Basically, it does mean locking up the penis and metaphorically throwing away the key (there is a hole to urinate), and it is possible to still get an erection, sort of.

“You get, what I would say is, a partial erection,” Berman said. “It will redirect it downward; it will restrict how hard you can get. You will still get aroused, but there is definitely a feeling of compression and not being able to get a full erection.”

Even though it’s called Locktober, practices vary on how long you wear the cage, and Berman advises newcomers to corral their chastity yearnings.

“Some people like to go into it with the dream that they will put the cage on at midnight on Oct 1 and not take it off for the next 31 days. There are some people who do that, but we think it’s probably not the best plan for most people. Realistically, taking some breaks for hygiene is important,” he counseled.

“A lot of people have trouble sleeping at night in their cage, and we have done a lot of work making cages a lot more comfortable. Even with that, it’s still challenging for a lot of people. Nighttime erections are involuntary; they can wake you up.”

He advises people to view them as contact lenses or glasses —  something you take off before you go to sleep and you put back on the minute you wake up.

Berman estimates his clientele is split evenly between gay and straight customers, and says the item also serves as a fashion accessory at sex parties and fetish clubs.

In the gay hookup world, it can serve as a deterrent for men who pressure others to be ‘tops.’

“So, for people who really want to emphasize that they’re bottoms, they really like wearing the cage to sort of take their penis off the table, symbolically and practically,” Berman expounded.

He shared that straight couples use it often to spice up their sex life.

“It inverts the discourse over what is typically masculine,” Berman said. “It lets couples do that in a way that is playful and fun and a little bit kinky.”

It can also put more emphasis on a woman’s pleasure and orgasm.

“We hear about that all the time,” he revealed. “Sometimes it can reinvigorate the spark in relationships by taking the men’s orgasm off the table for a little bit and making the woman the center of pleasure.”

Tom, who asked The Post to refrain from using his real name, has been in a relationship with a woman for the last 2 years, and agrees with that assessment.

“My girlfriend has said to me that she has never had so much confidence,” he explained. “Having that power over me boosts her confidence and makes her feel stronger.”

Tom laughed when asked if his girlfriend has been having more orgasms this October than any other month before acknowledging that it was true.

“It’s really interesting how it changes something in my brain,” the 37-year-old explained. “All I do is focus on her pleasure while we engage in sexual activity during Locktober.” 

And when it comes off, Tom said everything is heightened.

He even pointed out that being aroused during the abstemious annual — it’s his second time around — is pleasurable.

“If anything, I kind of lean into it,” Tom shared, “and enjoy the arousal. What I’ve learned is going into an entire month without orgasms is [that] it kind of turns into extended foreplay. In a way, everything becomes sexualized.”

Sebastian, who also refrained from giving his real name, a gay man in his 30s who has done Locktober for the last six years, sees the experience as more spiritual than sexual.

“It’s more of a challenge, a test of willpower, learning to deny what would be a base urge,” he told The Post. “The first couple of days are very hard, but by the end you have an achievement.”

That’s not to say that Sebastian doesn’t have any sexual encounters during the month, but he’s upfront about the cage.

Sebastian confessed that wearing the cage “makes things a little bit different, but there are ways around that with strap-ons and other accessories…but for the month you’re thinking, ‘Hey, do I stay out late and try to find someone to hook up with or do I go home and get enough sleep and hit the gym early?’ So, it’s like a wellness check, too.”

He added that everyone “has a different experience and reason why” they’re strapping on the cages.

“It has grown into more than just a curiosity in both communities,” he noted.