No shade to dating apps (bless), but sometimes you just want to romanticize heading out your door and meeting your soulmate on a casual night out. That said, figuring out how to meet people IRL can feel like a genuine logistical problem. Where are all the single folk hanging out? Are we still allowed to flirt with strangers? Is approaching someone at a coffee shop cute, or are you about to become the subject of a TikTok storytime?
Between dating app burnout, cute dating trends like ghosting, and promising conversations that go absolutely nowhere, meeting someone organically can start to feel like a thing that only happens in romantic comedies. Again, yes! Dating apps have their place, but there's something particularly appealing about meeting someone without first having to decide whether their Hinge prompts constitute a personality.
Before you start thinking we’ve officially entered some AI universe where humans never meet each other IRL and we’re all destined to become robots (maybe!), there’s hope! And this isn’t just coming from someone who met her spouse IRL (shouts to you, English 102). People are still meeting their partners in real life. At bars, at the gym, on vacation, and apparently even at Parisian sex clubs. Love to see it.
So, if you've been wondering how to meet someone without dating apps, we asked seven people who actually pulled it off to tell us how it happened. And some of these stories are significantly better than anything we've seen whilst swiping.
How 7 People Met Their Partners IRL
1. “I deleted my dating apps after six years of failure and met my boyfriend at a pre-game for a warehouse rave two weeks later. I asked his roommate if he was single and was told yes, so when I saw him taking a shot with some friends, I asked him to pour me one. We spent the rest of the night attached at the groin, dancing. Later, as I was getting ready to head home for the night, I ended up drunkenly tripping and falling down. He helped me up, and we’re still dating a year and a half later.” —Emmy, 28
2. “My partner and I met at a queer bar where I was performing in a drag show. I ‘casually’ grabbed a drink from the bar at the same time as them, we exchanged names, and I went on with my performance—during which I did a jump split, hit my knee, and started bleeding! They like to say they fell in love right then and there. They offered to help me after the show, we closed down the bar, and we’ve been together ever since.” —Alec, 23
3. “I met my boyfriend at my hair salon. I had just started (nonexclusively) dating a comedian. She invited me to a bisexual comedy show she was doing, and when I invited him to come with me, he dropped that he was also bi. Four years later, we’re still together.” —Tiffany, 38
4. “I met my fiancé at the gym after moving back to my hometown. We made eye contact and started chatting. I took note of when I seemed to run into him most and started going at that time more often. Eventually, I asked him out for a drink. We’ve been together for eight years!” —Melissa, 33
5. “We met at a comedy team audition and I immediately thought he was cute. Afterward, I struck up a conversation with someone near him so I wasn’t too obvious. He complimented my performance and I introduced myself. Long story short, we got engaged four years later.” —Nikki, 32
6. “My boyfriend and I met at a beach bar in the Canary Islands while I was visiting on vacation—his friend came over to hit on mine. I invited him to hang out, and we ended up falling in love in two weeks. I extended my trip twice before deciding to move here. We’ve been living together ever since.” —Flavia, 31
7. “I met a former partner in the smoking room of my favorite Parisian sex club. He turned to me and introduced himself, saying he used to live in L.A. We started chatting and realized we have mutual friends and had even been to some of the same events. Later that night, we went back to my apartment, got about three hours of sleep before going to brunch the next morning, and ended up dating for almost nine months.” —Melissa, 30