The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Sometimes there's no grass at all, just burning buildings and people defecting on the sidewalk.
Many Americans packed their bags when Donald Trump was re-elected, announcing to anyone who would listen that they were moving to enlightened Europe, where the culture is considerably classier and the quality of life infinitely better.
Some American expatriates interviewed by Wired described coldness, condescension, and outright mockery of their American identities.
Now, according to a new report in Wired, some of these political refugees are having second thoughts. Lower salaries, frustrating bureaucracies, disappointing health care, and the discovery that Europeans aren't necessarily thrilled to have them around have persuaded some to return to the country they were so desperate to escape.
Reality check
They treated fleeing America as a profound political statement, strutting toward passport control with the smug satisfaction of medieval monarchs dodging the plague. That smugness lasted until they received their first European paycheck and realized their homeland offered massive earning potential, dynamic job markets, and grocery stores open past eight o'clock.
Perhaps their biggest blunder involved confusing temporary dissatisfaction with the president for permanent hatred of a truly great nation. They emigrated to save their souls, only to discover that they couldn't even save a decent amount of money.
The Europe many Americans imagine — the Bernie Sanders-endorsed socialist paradise with free health care, happy families living in happy communities, and shorter working hours — looks considerably less appealing once the bills start arriving. The daily reality can involve crushing taxes, dismal customer service, tiny paychecks, and enough red tape to make Franz Kafka claw his way out of the grave and write a few more novels.
Americans fleeing Trump crossed the ocean to escape domestic dysfunction, only to discover that bureaucratic dysfunction translates perfectly into almost every European language.
These deluded liberals spent years enjoying the unmatched advantages of American life while loudly condemning the country providing them. They assumed those financial cushions and consumer comforts would automatically replicate overseas, minus the conservative voters they so openly and brazenly smeared. But respectable salaries, professional mobility, and a culture of getting things done aren't standard across the developed world.
It's a riot
Then there is the social instability, which might come as a shock to these Trump-fearing refugees.
Take France, for instance. The idyllic postcard of Parisian cafés and endless vineyards has lately given way to burning streets, smashed storefronts, and riot police struggling to contain violent unrest. Following nationwide riots on October 17 and 18 that resulted in thousands of arrests, authorities imposed curfews in several major cities. As of Friday, October 23, restrictions remain in place, with further demonstrations expected over the weekend.
Nor is the disorder confined to the occasional political demonstration. According to France's Interior Ministry, recorded physical violence rose 5% in 2025. Sexual violence also increased. The sophisticated European culture these Americans sought comes with rather more tear gas and police sirens than the travel brochures generally advertise.
The situation across the border in Germany offers little reassurance. The myth of Teutonic efficiency is increasingly difficult to reconcile with the experience of navigating modern Berlin's bureaucracy, public transportation, and employment market. One American who moved to Berlin and subsequently returned home told Wired that finding work had been extraordinarily difficult and the bureaucracy seemingly endless.
Knife to meet you
Then there is crime. According to German government figures released in October, federal police registered 14,049 violent offenses and 1,104 sexual offenses involving trains and railway stations during the first half of 2026. Among suspects in sexual offenses whose German or non-German nationality was known, non-Germans accounted for slightly more than half.
Knife attacks, sexual offenses, and violent confrontations in public transportation facilities are hardly advertisements for good old German law and order. The new arrivals banked on German efficiency to keep life running smoothly, only to discover that efficiency itself sometimes seems utterly out of stock.
Crossing the Channel to the United Kingdom offers no guarantee of sanctuary either. The belief that British manners, orderly queuing, and civilized teatimes still prevail everywhere is, at best, naive. The country recorded 48,615 knife-enabled offenses in the year ending June 2026. Although that represented a decline from the previous year, it remains an appalling number for a country once celebrated for its orderly public life.
Blighty in a burqa
The cultural transformation of Britain's major cities is equally difficult to ignore. Birmingham, the U.K.'s second-biggest city, has changed dramatically in recent decades. According to the 2021 census, nearly 30% of its residents identified as Muslim, up from roughly 22% a decade earlier, while the proportion identifying as Christian fell to 34%. The England of popular American imagination, with its village greens, parish churches, and reassuringly familiar customs, no longer provides a particularly reliable guide to the country as it exists today.
Even Americans who welcome these changes may find that British society is considerably less welcoming than expected. One American interviewed by Wired complained about colleagues mocking her accent and culture. She and her husband are now planning to return to the United States.
RELATED: How Europe turned illegal immigration into a 5-star vacation package
Carlos Jasso/Getty Images
They hate America too
Compounding this rude cultural awakening is a growing wave of anti-American sentiment. A Pew Research Center survey published in June found that majorities in nine of the 10 European countries surveyed held unfavorable views of the United States. Europeans may disagree about their own politics, but disapproval of America is one subject on which many seem remarkably united.
The New Yorkers and Californians who left home expecting a hero's welcome may discover that sharing a European's dislike of Donald Trump doesn't automatically make them honorary Europeans. Some American expatriates interviewed by Wired described coldness, condescension, and outright mockery of their American identities. Apparently, denouncing one's homeland is no guarantee of acceptance in somebody else's.
Ireland remains, in my admittedly biased opinion, about the only country in Western Europe where genuine affection for Americans still comes naturally. Golf enthusiasts like Bill Murray can tour the Irish countryside and find real warmth and friendly conversations. As an Irishman, I understand if some readers say I'm biased. Perhaps, but I'm also right. You don't need to be a Hollywood legend to be warmly embraced. The Irish have a genuine, heartfelt appreciation for our transatlantic cousins, though calls to kick Rosie O'Donnell out are increasing by the day.
Elsewhere, the reception can be considerably frostier.
Social media feeds and shameless influencers convinced credulous Americans to abandon their lives and embrace a supposed utopian paradise. They mistook strangers' advice for a practical relocation strategy. They imagined a continent without America's political divisions, only to discover that Europe has plenty of its own, along with economic stagnation, immigration controversies, and governments that can make Washington's bureaucrats look positively energetic.
Some are now returning home with their tails firmly between their legs, embarrassed and, one hopes, slightly more grateful than before to be citizens of the United States. One American who returned from Berlin told Wired he had begun to wonder whether he had overreacted to the political situation back home.
It's an expensive way to discover that America has rather more going for it than the people who spend their lives complaining about it care to admit.