‘You lean on other people and get back to feeling like yourself’

Hockey has always been more than just a game to Clay Stevenson. That was especially true after he suffered the biggest loss of his life: his mother, Holly, died by suicide seven years ago.

“Hockey was therapy,” the Winnipeg Jets goaltender told the Free Press Monday. “It was the worst thing that happened, but you lean on other people and get back to feeling like yourself.”

Stevenson wants to be open about his tragic past, believing more people need to talk about mental health to help erase the stigma that still exists.

His mother, a former dental assistant turned paramedic, struggled for years with her mental health. Ultimately, it led to her death.

There have been plenty of difficult chapters along the way for the 27-year-old Stevenson, whose parents divorced when he was just a toddler. But he has learned that hardship doesn’t have to define a person’s future.

“It’s OK to not be OK,” he said.

“But you don’t have to let that not OK feeling consume your whole life and dictate how you want to be. You can live a happy and healthy life, get out and do challenging things.”

Born in Drayton Valley, Alta., Stevenson bounced between Alberta and British Columbia as his parents shared custody of him and his two older sisters. By his count, he attended 13 different schools along the way.

“Being adaptable in life is clearly a skill,” he said. “And I was always adaptable.”

The kid who once dreamed of becoming a professional bull rider eventually moved in full-time with his mother when he turned 16, settling in Chilliwack, B.C.

In September 2019, Stevenson was preparing for his third season with the Coquitlam Eagles, a Junior A team in the British Columbia Hockey League, when his sister delivered devastating news just after he had finished practice.

He was back on the ice 10 days later, recording a 39-save shutout. Being around his teammates, he believed, was the best form of therapy.

“Hockey was the special bond I had with my mom,” Stevenson said of soldiering on.

“I was 16 and I wanted to quit hockey. My mom kept me playing.”

“Especially in my early years, when I’d wake up before school and we’d go train. Sometimes it would just be her on the ice shooting at me. That was our special thing. And she would always videotape my goaltending sessions for me so I could run through video.”

Her influence had already proved profound at an earlier crossroads in his life.

“I was 16 and I wanted to quit hockey. My mom kept me playing,” he said.

Thank goodness she did.

Stevenson briefly played Junior B in 100 Mile House, B.C., where his mother arranged to be posted at the community’s ambulance station so she could remain close to him. He then moved up a level to the Eagles, spending three years there before being recruited by Dartmouth College.

This was hardly the conventional path to the NHL. There were no trust funds or silver spoons in Stevenson’s upbringing.

“The $50,000 prep schools weren’t something I was able to do,” he said.

“I’ve had so many people help me along the way. From Junior B coaches and billet families to the recruiting staff at Dartmouth taking a chance on me. I’ve just always tried to be the best person I can be to other people. And my family has been huge with that as well. The biggest being my Mom.”

Hard work and perseverance eventually paid off. Stevenson went undrafted but signed as a free agent with the Washington Capitals after one year of college. He worked his way from the ECHL to the American Hockey League, winning a Calder Cup championship with the Hershey Bears in 2024.

Last month, the Capitals placed Stevenson on waivers at the end of training camp, and the Jets claimed him. Winnipeg needed help in goal amid Connor Hellebuyck’s trade request and refusal to report to the team.

Stevenson — who played five NHL games with Washington — has now made three starts with the Jets so far, going 1-2-0 with a 3.08 goals-against average and a .893 save percentage. He recently received his new Jets mask, which includes a special tribute to his mother.

“I have the Star of Life on the back of my mask for her,” he said. “I think about her all the time. Hockey has always been my outlet for honouring her.”

Stevenson and his girlfriend have quickly come to appreciate Winnipeg, particularly its thriving restaurant scene. He’s trying to stay present and savour the latest opportunity in a career that has taken plenty of unexpected turns.

“I definitely wouldn’t be who I am without the life I’ve had. I’m just grateful for every opportunity I’ve got along the way,” he said.

“You just have to take advantage of those when you see them.”

Stevenson is still getting to know his new teammates but has come to appreciate the relationships he’s building. That includes his goaltending partner Stuart Skinner — a fellow Albertan who has also been very candid about mental health issues over the years.

“It’s important to talk about things. It’s good to have a community around you. People to lean on. Not feeling so consumed in yourself and your feelings,” he said.

“I think any time people can listen to my voice and maybe gain half a percent of something like inspiration, that’s a little win in my eyes. It’s difficult and obviously has been directly involved in my life, with lots of mental health. It affects everybody. I think the biggest thing is getting out and challenging yourself. You can break old habits, you know.”

Stevenson remains close with his sisters and father, who has already travelled to Winnipeg to watch him play. He also wants to share his story with anyone willing to listen, particularly young men who might look up to professional hockey players as role models.

He knows that asking for help isn’t always easy, especially when you’re struggling to find the motivation to connect with others.

“It affects everybody. I think the biggest thing is getting out and challenging yourself.”

“It’s hard to be around people sometimes when you really don’t want to be. And it’s OK to want to have alone time, too. And be in your own thoughts,” said Stevenson.

“If you’re really struggling, it can be hard to reach out. Sometimes the challenging things are what make you feel a little bit better. It’s little steps moving forward, it’s gaining momentum in your life and thriving on little wins. Sometimes people think of it as a whole big picture but it really just starts with one step in front of the other.”

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