My landlady lives in the flat below and complains when we talk or put on the washing machine in the evening - what can I do?

I have been renting an upstairs flat in a house for a few years and my landlady lives in the downstairs flat.

We really like where we live but the landlady is making it difficult for us.

If we make any noise past 9pm, she will tell us it's too noisy and she can't sleep.

She's complained about us talking, putting the washing machine on, and our footsteps between nine and ten o'clock at night.

It's really affecting my life and I don't think doing normal activities at that time is cause for complaint.

I feel nervous about talking with my flatmate, inviting friends over for dinner or walking around.

We're not lodgers – they are two separate flats and we have a tenancy agreement. Is there anything I can do? L.S., London.

Lucy Evans, of This is Money, replies: Renting is already hard enough without the added issue of a disgruntled landlady.

You tell me you are in London, where rents are sky-high, so you have to shell out a significant chunk of your salary to share a flat with your friend.

So it's understandable why you want to use your flat to its full extent.

You are a young adult, so want to host your friends for dinners and film nights, as well as watch television with your flatmate in the evening. 

But you worry that you can't without your landlady complaining about the noise.

This doesn't seem right, so I asked a landlord and tenant expert what your rights are, and the next steps you can make to finally enjoy your flat.

Chris Macartney, a landlord and tenant expert at law firm Bishop and Sewell, replies: Because your landlady lives in the same building, you probably have a 'resident landlord' tenancy rather than an assured one.

That exception covers converted houses, not purpose-built blocks of flats. It matters because she can end your tenancy with a valid notice to quit and doesn't have to give a reason.

You don't share living space with her, though, so she would still need a court order to evict you. It makes sense to handle this tactfully.

The good news is that the law doesn't expect tenants to live in silence. In one previous case, the House of Lords held that the ordinary noise of everyday living is not a legal nuisance, even when sound insulation is poor.

That includes talking, footsteps and household appliances. 

Unless your tenancy agreement has a specific quiet-hours clause – and you should check it – you aren't doing anything wrong by chatting, walking around or using the washing machine between 9pm and 10pm.

You could reply in writing, calmly. 

Say you want to be good neighbours, but that normal domestic activity before 10pm is reasonable.

It might make sense to show goodwill. You could put down rugs, wear soft slippers, fit an anti-vibration mat or run the washing machine earlier.

If it continues, suggest mediation. Free community mediation is often available through your local council.

And keep a diary of her complaints. If her behaviour becomes intimidating or seems aimed at pushing you out, it could amount to harassment under the Protection from Eviction Act 1977. 

Your council's tenancy relations officer can help with that.

If things escalate, get advice from a housing solicitor before responding.