John Oliver returned to the “Last Week Tonight” desk Sunday night and, before his big story on generic medications and national drug shortages, teed off on what he called the “pretty tacky” scandal ensnaring Kimberly Guilfoyle.
But the big news came at the very end of the program when Oliver, after trolling Liberty Mutual’s Liberty Biberty mascot with scandalous fanfic imagery, declared, “I’m thrilled to be part of the Skydance family! Hope you’re happy with what you bought, guys! We’re never gonna change!”
As for the Guilfoyle of it all, according to text messages obtained by The Wall Street Journal, Eric Deters, a Trump donor who once unsuccessfully ran for governor of Kentucky, is alleging that Guilfoyle — a former Fox News personality who’s dated Gavin Newsom and Donald Trump Jr. — begged him to pay off her $100,000 American Express bill just days before she was confirmed to be Trump’s U.S. ambassador to Greece.
“Honey please,” she begged him in the published messages.
Cue Oliver: “OK, first, that text is something: ‘Honey please, send a hundred thousand dollars to my credit card and sweetie, don’t go on the news later to talk about it, and pumpkin, please send a hundred thousand dollars to Sephora, I need a new vat of charcoal eye-liner. My style icon is a raccoon. Prayer hands.’”
Guilfoyle is currently the Trump-appointed U.S. ambassador to Greece, and Oliver argued that it was “always odd” that she was given the post since she’s someone best known for a particularly embarrassing moment during the 2020 Republican National Convention where she threw her hands up in the air and wildly declared, “The best… is yet… to come!”
“That is just too much there,” cracked Oliver, mentioning Guilfoyle’s “cocaine eyes” and “Evita arms,” adding, “She’s one step away from turning into a flock of crows.” Deters has said he came forward because Guilfoyle allegedly made a bunch of promises to him in exchange for the $100,000, including getting him an interview on Fox News and “giving Kid Rock the song that I wrote.”
“Hold on!” exclaimed Oliver. “Do you know how bad a song has to be for it to be not good enough for Kid Rock? The guy who wrote a song featured in the children’s movie ‘Osmosis Jones’ in which he sang, ‘Young ladies, young ladies / I like ‘em underage, see / Some say it’s statutory / But I say it’s mandatory.’ He performed that song [titled “Cool, Daddy Cool”] in a kids’ movie! You know it is bad when you have the creepiest song on an album that also features R. Kelly.”