Founder of Dual Concepts Foundation and mother of twin boys, Kate Addo says parents should focus on raising well-rounded individuals rather than allowing societal expectations of masculinity to determine the kind of men their sons become.
Speaking on JoyPrime’s Lifestyle with Rosie, Ms Addo shared her experience of raising her two sons, both of whom she described as “always big-sized boys”, and reflected on the expectations placed on boys as they grow up in Ghanaian society.
She said raising boys was neither necessarily harder nor easier than raising children generally, but required constant effort and understanding.
“Some days are better than others, but then again, isn’t life like that?” she said.
Her comments centred on the importance of looking beyond gender stereotypes and helping children develop the qualities they need to become responsible, confident and well-adjusted adults.
Ms Addo said Ghanaian and African cultural expectations often influence how parents raise boys from an early age.
She pointed to the common perception that boys are naturally boisterous, alongside expectations that they should be brave even when they are afraid.
She also highlighted the different standards society often sets for boys and girls, arguing that these expectations can shape children’s behaviour and how they understand their place in society.
Illustrating some of the challenges of raising energetic boys, Ms Addo recounted an incident involving her twin sons when they were about two years old.
She said she caught them jumping from a wardrobe estimated to be six or seven feet high onto their bed, with one following the other.
The experience offered a glimpse into the demands of parenting young boys, particularly when their curiosity and willingness to take risks require constant supervision.
However, Ms Addo’s broader message was that parents should not allow such experiences to define how they raise their sons or limit their understanding of what boys can become.
“I don’t want to grow a boy into a man. I want to grow a well-rounded individual who will fit into society and perform well when I’m not there,” she said.
Ms Addo said her approach to parenting was centred on preparing her sons for life rather than training them to conform to a narrow definition of masculinity.
She stressed the importance of raising children who can build healthy relationships, communicate effectively and relate well to others, regardless of gender.
Her position challenges the tendency in some parenting practices to encourage boys to suppress their emotions or equate strength with an inability to show vulnerability.
Instead, her approach places importance on developing empathy, communication skills and self-awareness alongside the other qualities children need to navigate adulthood.
For Ms Addo, the ultimate goal is to ensure that her sons can make sound decisions and relate responsibly with others, even when she is no longer around to guide them.
Her contribution to the discussion, which also featured advocate Kobby Kyei speaking about boys’ silence around abuse and emotional struggles, highlighted concerns about the pressures young males face when expected to appear strong at all times.
Messages such as “be brave”, “don’t cry” and “man up” can discourage boys from expressing fear, seeking help or speaking openly about difficult experiences.
The discussion drew attention to the importance of parents and institutions examining the messages they pass on to boys and considering how those messages affect their emotional development.