1. Jessica will be hosting a small get-together at her house on Friday. If she invites 9 friends, how many people, including Jessica, will be in attendance?
A) 8
B) 9
C) 10
2. Jessica’s friend Elizabeth calls to ask if she can bring her boyfriend, Tim, to the small get-together. Suddenly, Jessica’s voice gets all high and weird, and she starts talking about how, if Tim comes, she’s worried that there won’t be enough hot dogs for everyone. If Tim comes, how many people will be in attendance?
A) 10
B) 11
C) 12
3. Elizabeth says that it’s fine—that she and Tim can just bring extra hot dogs, and buns, if needed. But Jessica insists that Elizabeth doesn’t know the specific brand of hot dogs and buns she’s already acquired, which means that if, for instance, Elizabeth brought Hawaiian buns and chicken sausages, there would be an inconsistency. Elizabeth says she knows that Jessica doesn’t like Tim. How long is the silence that follows?
A) 10 seconds
B) 30 seconds
C) 60 seconds
4. Jessica carefully clarifies that it’s not that she doesn’t like Tim, it’s just that she has some reservations. Elizabeth asks her to elaborate, so Jessica brings up that time Tim showed up to her birthday party, which was at a bar, like, in public, and started cutting his nails even after repeatedly being asked by the staff to stop. How many times was Tim asked to stop cutting his nails?
A) 2
B) 3
C) 5
5. Elizabeth gets defensive and tells Jessica that public nail-cutting is actually normal where Tim’s from. Jessica tries to confirm that Tim is from Connecticut, which Elizabeth ignores, because he is. Elizabeth expresses hurt that Jessica would judge Tim based on just one quirk. Jessica replies that it’s not just one quirk. How many quirks does Tim have?
A) 2
B) 4
C) 16
6. Jessica recounts the time they were all on that hike and Tim ate Jessica’s protein bar but kept blaming it on Elizabeth. Also the time they were at a bookstore and Tim kept saying that he’d read a bunch of books when it was clear he hadn’t, and then, when they’d try to test his knowledge about a particular book, suddenly he’d get “too sleepy” to respond. And, finally, the time they went to the boardwalk and Tim got into a verbal altercation with a child. How old was the child with whom Tim got into a verbal altercation?
A) 4
B) 5
C) 8
7. Elizabeth breaks down in tears and admits that, O.K., sure, Tim isn’t perfect, but then reminds Jessica that she doesn’t know what it’s like out there. Jessica is lucky that she met Chuck in college and doesn’t have to date right now, because it’s really bad. Elizabeth reiterates that it’s so, so, so, so bad to the point where she could tell Jessica some fucked-up stories, but she won’t do that to her. How many years has Elizabeth been single?
A) 4
B) 6
C) 9
8. Jessica didn’t realize how hard it’s been for Elizabeth and she’s happy that her friend found someone that she, at least, likes. Jessica mentions one good quality about Tim which is that he has a nice smile. This makes Elizabeth feel better and she asks Jessica to name other good qualities of Tim’s. How many good qualities is Jessica able to come up with?
A) 1
B) 1
C) 1
9. After trying for sort of a long while, Jessica ultimately reminds Elizabeth that it’s not about the quantity of good qualities someone has but the quality of those qualities. Elizabeth is confused and asks if this means that she can bring Tim to the small get-together. Jessica says yes. How many people will be attending Jessica’s gathering now?
A) 10
B) 11, because of fucking Tim
C) 13
10. Elizabeth asks if she and Tim should still bring some extra hot dogs and buns for the party. Jessica says no, that she went nuts at the store and bought 65 hot dogs and buns for the party, and that the whole hot-dog thing was just an excuse to uninvite Tim. If each attendee eats an equal number of hot dogs, how many hot dogs will each person eat?
A) 6
B) 7
C) 5.9
♦