Strictly Come Dancing is a programme about celebrities learning to dance. Over the past 22 years, it has grown to be about a lot of other things, too: glamour, comfort, hard graft, image rehabilitation, image damage, personal growth and, of course, “the journey”. But its central tension still rests on all that it takes for a person to transform into a Latin and ballroom dancer – the physical sacrifice, the megawatt confidence, the sparkly costumes, shaking off self-consciousness and the fear of looking silly and trying your absolute best to put on a show. Embracing it all and stepping into the role of “dancer” humbles the celebrities, forces them to adopt a new personality, and teaches them a lot they never knew about themselves in the process.
But it seems Strictly’s producers no longer consider the transformation into “dancer” sufficiently interesting, and demand that the celebrities step into a cast of other roles, on top. Like Danny from Grease. Or Mary Poppins. Or Elton bloody John. It is not enough to submit them to a ritual hosing of fake tan and squeeze them into open-chested shirts and ballgowns; they must also spend half the series in fancy dress like a crowd of unhinged fans queuing for Comic Con. It is getting out of hand.
I’m sorry to be a spoilsport, and believe me, I’m no purist. I have been watching Strictly for nearly 20 years and I don’t know the rules of any of the dances – in fact, I probably can’t tell half of them apart. I certainly have never bothered to commit to memory the definition of a fleckerl. Strictly is a circus and I watch for the thrill of a good performance and the ridiculous, cheeky fun of it all, not because I believe things should be strictly, well, ballroom, or to tut at a Tango with a little bit too much rise and fall.
And I know that format tweaks keep things fresh, and I actually really look forward to the tradition of Halloween Week (especially the judges’ costumes, which are magnificently gruesome and prove no contestant is a better sport than the four of them). But by the time this year’s Halloween Week comes around, the Saturday after next, 50 per cent of the live shows so far will have been themed. Yes, it’s Strictly Come Dancing we’re talking about here, but isn’t all this a little bit over the top?
I’m not imagining it– things are slightly different this year. Movies Week was brought forward seven days – meaning the second-ever live show was in fancy dress, so half the celebs were stuck in wigs before they’d even got used to a leotard. And Icons Week was brought forward too, so just as they were getting more comfortable on the dance floor they were expected to deliver an impression of Aretha or Jon Bon Jovi.
Never mind that I personally would much rather marvel at glamorous celebrities in floor-length sequinned dresses than debate whether Raye yet qualifies as an “icon”, or question why a week dedicated to “movies” was dominated by musicals when Musicals Week itself is coming down the tracks, or indeed wonder whether any television programme warrants two separate men cosplaying as John Travolta in the same episode. Strictly love-bombing its viewers with distracting themed weeks so early into this series is a sign that it has lost confidence.
Look. If you are someone drawn to things loud, bright and shiny, you are already watching Strictly. It is dazzling, and chaotic, and so stop-start – as well as the 90-second dances, there are the rehearsal VTs, the post-dance chit-chat, the Clauditorium debrief, and the judging – that those with short attention spans do not get much of a chance to look away.
However, this year, producers appear to have worried that even all that would not be enough to keep us engaged. So we have an extra presenter to add to the dozens of pros, celebs and judges already corralled – and if you weren’t convinced that Josh Widdicombe was a presenter without portfolio before now, the sight of him crouching on the floor to pick up streamers from Will Best’s ankles will have left you in no doubt – and a heavy over-reliance on weak gags and pre-taped sketches. More people! More costumes! More scripted banter! Load it all up and nobody will notice that anything’s changed! We don’t need it, though – we’re still watching because we obviously don’t mind a bit of change.
Strictly is a series that grows in power as the weeks go on. It gets more and more moving as we get to know the celebrities and what brought them to the show, as their partnerships deepen, as their hard work pays off and as the emotions and intensity become all-consuming.
We might never have heard their names before the cast was announced, but by November there are always at least two celebrities whom we have taken to our hearts, having watched them come out of their shell on the dance floor and become someone new. A silly costume and a novelty theme are great fun when they’re a break from the norm. But they’re becoming just another disguise that the stars must rip off – and a distraction from the real magic of Strictly.