By Herman M. Lagon
It often starts quietly. A student asks for consideration because they thought they “did their best.” A coworker steps back from a task that is not assigned to them. A driver cuts through traffic without regard. These may seem minor, even familiar. But together, they reveal a deeper pattern — a growing culture of entitlement that shows up almost everywhere. And if we pause, we might admit we have been part of it too.
I once heard a student say, “Sir, I deserve a higher grade — I tried.” It stayed with me — not because it was unusual, but because it was becoming normal.
Seeking recognition is human. But when it turns into a sense of being owed something, it creates problems. We see it in unrealistic expectations and small acts of disregard. As Dr. Julie Exline’s research shows, entitlement often leads to tension, not fulfillment.
Take our daily commute. Why do jeepneys stop wherever it is convenient? Why do motorcycles rush past traffic as if rules are optional? Everyone seems to want to go first. But when everyone does, no one really gets ahead — we just end up stuck. The “ako muna” mentality is more than a traffic problem; it reflects how easily we forget shared responsibility.
This often begins at home. Most parents do it out of love. They want to clear the path, make things smoother. But when children are never allowed to sit with difficulty, they may start to expect that the world will always adjust around them. That expectation, over time, can grow into entitlement (Korman, 2025). The real work is in holding back just enough — so children learn patience, empathy and responsibility for themselves.
In the workplace, the pattern continues. We see it when people expect benefits or recognition without the effort to match. Credentials, titles, or personal connections are sometimes used as shields to avoid basic collaboration. I have heard of teams torn apart because someone thought they were “too good” for the task at hand. In most professional environments, respect is earned through effort and trust, not demanded through status or self-importance.
Entitlement also shows its face in small abuses of privilege. From fake PWD cards to politicians turning public spaces into private venues, these acts may seem small on their own, but they slowly wear down our sense of fairness. One barangay captain in Cebu even blocked off an entire beach for his family, leaving everyone else out. It reflects a mindset many recognize — that rules apply to others, not to us — and that is how public service quietly turns into personal gain.
Then there is social media, shaping expectations in subtle ways. On platforms like Instagram, Facebook and TikTok, we see highlight reels — travel, success, recognition — with little mention of the struggle behind them. Over time, this feeds comparison. We start to want more, feel behind and believe we deserve similar outcomes. Psychologist Dr. Jean Twenge (2017) notes that this exposure can increase entitlement while reducing gratitude. It creates a quiet need to keep up, even when the race is not real.
It helps to pause and make the distinction. Standing up for one’s rights is not entitlement. Our history — from Edsa to everyday courage — shows how necessary it is to speak up for justice. But there remains a difference between rightful claims and expectations that go beyond what one has put in. There is wisdom in knowing when to stand firm — and when to grow, to wait, or to stay grounded.
One way to think through this is discernment. It does not need to be framed in big terms. Sometimes, it is as simple as pausing and asking: “Is this about what I deserve, or what I can give?” Imagine if drivers thought beyond themselves, or if students saw setbacks as part of growth. These small, honest shifts can influence more than behavior — they can shape culture.
Ultimately, entitlement can weigh us down. It builds expectations that the world cannot always meet. Those who live with humility often carry life more lightly. OFWs who endure long hours and students who rise despite limited means remind us that fulfillment is not something handed to us — it is something we work for.
The aim is not to remove entitlement completely, but to outgrow it. To shift from a toddler-level “I deserve this” mindset to more mature “How can we do better together?” It starts with small choices — giving way in traffic, owning our work, showing gratitude. These simple acts slowly weaken a culture of self-centeredness and strengthen one built on respect and shared progress.
And this is not just about others — it is about us, too. Especially in moments when we feel we are owed more. Because in truth, no one owes us everything — but we owe each other the responsibility of building a more just and humane world.