The Benefits of Having an Older Sibling During Adolescence

Adolescence is an important time when young people seek independence from their parents, focusing on friends and romantic partners and figuring out who they want to be. As teens navigate these important developmental tasks, they will learn and grow with the help of others. For adolescents with an older sibling, that sibling can be an important, trusted family resource who helps guide them during this developmental period.

While siblings do spend less time together during adolescence, they remain an important and influential relationship for youths' social, emotional, and cognitive development. In fact, adolescents report sharing and discussing personal information and thoughts with their siblings daily. Although older siblings are not always a positive influence, they can play a beneficial role in the lives of younger siblings during adolescence.

Older Siblings as an Important Family Resource

In the United States, most siblings are about two years apart in age, creating likely similarities in their life experiences. These similarities, along with siblings’ shared family history and special understanding of one another, can make an older sibling an ideal resource during adolescence. A sibling can also provide an alternative source of support for youth who may not feel comfortable talking to their parents or need a different perspective.

Teens may also seek out their older siblings as relatable confidants, perhaps using them as a sounding board before approaching their parents or other adults. Adolescents may enjoy the back-and-forth conversation with their sibling more than top-down pressure from parents. Reflecting this trust, research shows that adolescent siblings frequently talk about their daily activities, media use, nonfamilial relationships, academics, and future plans.

During adolescence, sibling support is often mutual, especially when navigating family matters. However, older siblings generally have more influence on younger siblings than vice versa, often adopting a teacher or mentor role even if they are only a few years older. Younger siblings often admire and look up to their older siblings. This status typically happens because of birth order and age: Older siblings are likely to face social situations with peers and romantic partners, encounter academic challenges and classes, and make decisions about future plans before their younger siblings.

Having Older Sisters Versus Older Brothers

Does it matter if an adolescent has an older brother or sister? The findings are mixed, with some studies showing no effect. Other studies show that younger siblings receive more guidance and support from same-sex rather than opposite-sex older siblings. This is thought to happen because same-sex siblings share greater similarities and relate to each other more easily. Additionally, older sisters are often close confidants and mentors for younger sisters and provide more advice than older brothers do. For example, one study found that older sisters give younger sisters specific instructions and information about dating and romantic relationships.

How Older Siblings Benefit Younger Siblings

Older siblings can influence adolescent younger siblings in several ways, including by guiding them through direct instruction and encouragement or by providing information and advice. Another way older siblings influence younger siblings is by serving as role models. By watching their older siblings’ activities, choices, and subsequent consequences, younger siblings learn from them.

Older brothers and sisters are invaluable guides promoting positive development for their less experienced younger siblings in a variety of areas, including dating and peer relationships, body image, and prosocial skills like empathy. One study showed that older siblings shape adolescents’ social skills and their athletic and artistic interests, particularly when older siblings excelled in those areas. Other work found that how much adolescents discussed extracurricular activities, media, and academics with their older siblings was linked to their success in friendships, sports, and school.

Tips to Foster the Benefits of Adolescent Older Siblings

Parents can encourage strong, loving sibling relationships in which older siblings serve as positive role models and resources for younger siblings during adolescence through the following suggestions:

• Encourage your children to talk directly to one another about both their joys and challenges.
• Understand that, at times, siblings may fight or need space from one another.
• Model and encourage siblings to use constructive conflict management strategies (e.g., listening and developing and choosing solutions together).
• Privately coach siblings to find simple ways to show empathy when their sibling is having a difficult time.
• Nurture siblings’ connections with one another through their shared activities, routines, and interests.
• Encourage siblings’ support of one another’s accomplishments, hobbies, and talents rather than feelings of competition.

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