(Stuff) eventually happens. Here’s what to do when it does.
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An issue over an employee’s merit raise led to me getting fired/resigning. In my mind, I had done nothing wrong; not only had I stuck to doing the right thing, I did it in the face of considerable pressure and threats that turned out not to be idle.
Seventeen years of loyal (probably too loyal) service, and this is how how I got treated? I felt betrayed. I felt slighted. I felt hurt.
But not for nearly as long as I thought.
That tracks with research conducted by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert (h/t to Michael Easter’s newsletter). A series of studies found the pain caused by a relationship breakup, by losing a job, by not get hired for a job — bad things that feel like they happen to you (more on that in a moment) — don’t last as long as people think they will.
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Gilbert calls it your “psychological immune system,” your mind’s automatic defense against insults, injustice, failure, and rejection. That, and time, tends to heal most wounds.
But research shows you can also speed up the process.
For example, a meta-analysis of over a dozen studies found that work experiences that violate your moral code are linked to greater feelings of depression and even PTSD. Another study found that people who didn’t do what they thought was right because of fear of discipline or loss of job later experienced more mental health issues than those who did.