Councillor who told woman it was a 'pity' she wasn't bashed won't resign

A Mid North Coast councillor is refusing to resign after an investigation found he made a violent comment to a woman online.

Noel Selby said he would not be stepping down but would consider attending a men's behavioural-change program after his peers unanimously called for his resignation. 

A decision on how to discipline the Kempsey Shire councillor was reached after more than an hour of confidential discussion about an independent investigator's report which found that Cr Selby posted a comment to a woman raising domestic violence concerns saying it was a "pity he hadn't bashed you".

Cr Selby declined to comment after the proceedings but shared a written statement and told the ABC he would not resign.

"I stand by my original statement that my FB page was hacked!" it read.

"I am against all acts of domestic violence."

Cr Selby said in his statement that he had "never abused any woman in my 75 years" and had worked with several local community groups, including the Country Women's Association and Rotary.

"My reason for wanting to be on council in the first place was to try and make Kempsey Shire a better place for everybody to live in," he said.

"That's what I intend to do in the future, because that's what I was voted in for."

Community 'rightfully outraged'

This week's meeting came after the Kemspey Shire Council engaged business management consultancy group Centium to investigate complaints made about a post that appeared to come from Cr Selby's personal Facebook account.

Kempsey Mayor Kinne Ring told the ABC after the meeting that the investigator's recommendation of a censure — a formal reprimand from council condemning the behaviour — did not go far enough.

"We can't make Cr Selby resign, but we can request that he resign," she said.

"Ultimately, council decided to not only censure him but also request that he resign and that we recommend he engage in a men's behavioural-change program.

Cr Ring said the community was "rightfully outraged" by Cr Selby's comment, noting the prevalence of domestic violence in the region. 

She said the matter had cost council more than $40,000 in lost time and resources. 

"As a woman, as a 31-year-old female with sisters, with nieces, with my own mother, I don't condone violence against women or violence in any form," Cr Ring said.

Cr Ring acknowledged community concerns that the council had not taken a firm enough position when the allegation was first raised, but said the right outcome had been reached and procedures followed.

The matter will now be referred to the Office of Local Government for further consideration, which could lead to Cr Selby's disqualification as a councillor.

Deputy Mayor Arthur Bain said councillors had taken the strongest stance possible under current legislation, after being "inundated with concerns".

June Wilson, the executive officer of domestic violence service Kempsey Families, said while she welcomed the council's decision, she did not believe Cr Selby had taken accountability for his actions.

"We do need to know that sort of behaviour can't be tolerated by anyone, particularly in a position of privilege and a fair degree of power," Ms Wilson said.

Ms Wilson said men's behavioural-change programs involved "deeply reflective" and "profound" personal work and often intensive case management to understand the impact of words and behaviour.

"If someone is not willing to hold themselves to account, men's behaviour change is a complete waste of time," she said.

"The appropriate thing to do would be to acknowledge that you've made an error, however that happened, and just step out of the limelight and retire or resign."