There is still time left on the clock, but we can all agree that there is something missing from this series of The Celebrity Traitors. Je ne sais quoi. A touch of magic. The Alan Carr Factor. We're still trying to figure it out.
Perhaps it all started to fray at the seams when Richard E. Grant, a perfect choice for the villainous role, revealed his identity to the entire group five minutes after being picked at the first round table. Richard would have certainly provided the eccentric, devious energy required of someone so central to the game, but alas, he was the first person to be banished.
He left behind a strong player in Maya Jama, who is carrying the game on her back, there's no denying it, but she is not a born menace. She is not fearlessly throwing herself into the game, but rather sitting safely on its edges. This may well serve her well long-term, but it doesn't make for edge-of-your-seat TV.
Then there's James Acaster, who Maya and Richard recruited at the start of episode two. James never wanted to be a Traitor – and it shows. He seems so worried about staying in the game that he's banished his comedy credentials. A 'source' already leaked that James became so anxious during one scene that they reportedly had to stop filming. While this is understandable (others have spoken about how stressful the game can be) and we wish him well, his energy brings a seriousness to the show that it doesn't really need.
Professor Hannah Fry, the 'resident nerd', then followed. As a Faithful, Hannah was easily the smartest game player and seemed more on the money than anyone else. She would have been a great Faithful to root for. As a Traitor, she also seems paralysed by fear and is bound to be caught out in the next few episodes.
Unfortunately, the dynamic between the three Traitors is integral to the show. We want Cat Burns and Alan Carr action, we enjoy the evil scheming of Paul Gorton and Harry Clark. Although it's stressful and intense and treacherous and exhausting, it's also just a game. And the celebrities are not playing for money that could change their lives, they are playing for charity. When we see them trembling at breakfast, it makes it feel like they are playing for their lives.
Who should The Traitors recruit next?
If we had it our way, here's who would have been picked.
Rob Beckett
Before season two started, everyone assumed either Rob Beckett or Romesh Ranganathan would be picked as a Traitor. At first, we were glad neither was, but it would have been great to watch Rob try to lie to his comedy double act. Rob would have also brought an excitable, childish energy to the turret (and his teeth would dazzle under that cloak).
Jerry Hall
If anyone is keeping us on our toes this season, it's Jerry Hall. One minute she's onto someone, the next she's plucking theories out of the fruit bowl. Either way, she's entertaining and it would have been fun to see her cast as a Traitor, pretending to be a Faithful.
King Kenny
One person we would like to see more of is YouTuber King Kenny. He is another contestant who seems primarily there to have fun and cause mischief, which is exactly what we need from a great Traitor. So far, he's not had any heat on him, so if we were the Traitors (and one of them gets banished) he'd be a top contender.
Joanne McNally
Last, but not least is Joanne McNally. Joanne is bringing the one liners this season, having grabbed the baton from the reigning champion Alan Carr. Her instincts might be completely off ('If Richard is a Traitor, I'll eat my own bonnet'), but that's the perfect double bluff. Joanne is bringing comedy and chaos to the castle – now all she needs is a cloak.