As Dashain arrives, families come together, houses reverberate with sounds of laughter, and parents look forward to hearing the footsteps of their children. The aroma of traditional delicacies will begin to waft through the neighbourhoods as people prepare to celebrate Dashain with their dear ones. There are many people who migrate to other places in the country, including the cities, in search of a better career or education and come back to their own village to celebrate the festival. But there are many families who will be left celebrating Dashain without their loved ones due to various reasons. Those who stay away from them on account of work or education in faraway places, even foreign countries, cannot join them for the celebration.
For many seniors, Dashain becomes a time of pain because of their increasing solitude. Whereas the whole nation enjoys the holiday surrounded by their loved ones, lonely seniors cannot feel happy during this period. Many senior parents who live alone do not get the chance to celebrate with their children who have moved abroad in search of a better life. Moreover, the seniors who have lost their spouse and live all alone suffer from even greater loneliness. It goes beyond just ageing because they spend their holiday thinking of the times when their house was full of family members’ joyful laughter.
Many senior citizens, whose children have been living abroad for years, feel that the happy voices and laughter in their surroundings only heighten the silence in their homes. They dream of seeing that happy smile and experiencing the presence of their children with them on Dashain. They wonder if their dream of celebrating the festival with their children would ever be fulfilled. But they still hope that their children will return one day.
For now, technology can serve as a means of communicating with their loved ones who are abroad. Parents virtually attend tika ceremonies with their children and grandchildren, blessing them from afar. They exchange stories and talk about their feelings for those few minutes. However, that happiness is short-lived; as soon as the call ends, they are left with the same silence and melancholy.
Cost of migration
In the past few years, young Nepali people migrating to the developed world in search of better prospects have increasingly become an issue. Its consequences extend beyond the loss of young talent from the country. The trend has also contributed to family separation and leaves many older parents without the emotional support they need. Across the Kathmandu Valley, it is increasingly common for households to have at least one family member living abroad. Consequently, separation, emotional emptiness and loneliness have become familiar experiences in many Nepali homes.
Many young people leave Nepal to pursue higher education in countries such as the United States, Australia and those in Europe. But many prefer staying abroad even after the completion of their education due to better employment opportunities, earning capabilities and a higher standard of living.
According to a survey conducted by the Nepal Policy Institute in 2024, about one million Nepalis have permanently migrated to developed countries across the world. The actual figure might be higher, as this figure excludes Nepalis who study or work abroad or have applied for permanent residency.
This problem has led to the creation of a dual challenge for the country. First, Nepal faces a shortage of skilled and educated manpower who could contribute to the nation-building process. Secondly, parents are left uncared for and unaccompanied in their old age. Many young people, who used to plan to return home after the completion of their education and earning enough money to take care of their families, end up migrating abroad due to better prospects and a better lifestyle. Consequently, more and more parents are getting older without their children's presence around them.
Love matters
While migration can bring economic stability and brighter future possibilities for the family, it can bring separation, emotional emptiness, loneliness and a lack of love, warmth and emotional support associated with the family union.
These elderly citizens are financially rich people. But what they really need is love from their children. It is an irony because they have put other priorities first. So the parents are forgotten over the years by many, some are under the care of nurses, but most of them are left alone to fend for themselves. But the problem appears to increase year after year, and it calls for everybody’s attention to minimise the suffering of these elderly citizens.
Though it is an ideal approach, human beings are always moving around in search of a better life, and parents have no choice but to face the truth. This is where the family, society, and the state can play their part.
Common responsibility
Children need to learn that old people need more than money; they need love and care. This is a problem that requires a solution, like one or another son or daughter staying behind to take care of their sickly parents.
The children living abroad need to try to visit their parents as often as they can and come back during Dashain at least once every two or three years. If there are many siblings, then at least one of them should try to take some time out and celebrate the festival with their parents. It gives hope to the old people, knowing that their children will come back to celebrate the festival with them.
No old person should be left alone to spend the festive days of Dashain in tears and loneliness. Similarly, local governments and communities also have a role to play in identifying elderly people living alone and providing them with emotional and social support. After all, by building a compassionate society, we can ensure that our senior citizens enjoy their later years with dignity and happiness. The government also needs to make plans that will ensure these senior citizens are brought together so that they can share their feelings and have fun during the festive season.
(The author is a Sub-editor at The Rising Nepal.)
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