For Samantha Busch, some of the hardest moments since losing her husband, NASCAR legend Kyle Busch, have come when she least expects them.
Sometimes, it's a question from one of their children. Other times, it's a happy family outing that reminds her of everything Kyle is missing.
And sometimes, for a little while, she feels like herself again.
In a deeply personal Instagram video shared this week, Samantha opened up about the unpredictable nature of grief, explaining how her understanding of loss has changed in the four months since Kyle's death.
To put those feelings into words, she turned to something that had been part of their lives for years: racing.
Samantha Busch Uses Emotional Racing Analogy to Explain Life Without Kyle
Sitting on a couch and speaking directly to the camera, Samantha admitted that she initially struggled to understand why people told her grief wasn't something she would eventually leave behind.
"In the beginning, I just kept thinking, like, OK, when will I move past this?" she recalled. "And people were like, you never move past this, and that kind of freaked me out."
Now, she understands what they meant.
Samantha compared grief to a ghost car, the reference vehicle used in certain racing displays to show how one lap compares with another. In her analogy, that invisible car represents the grief that continues to accompany her through everyday life.
Some days, it runs alongside her.
She recalled taking her children, Brexton and Lennix, to New York and enjoying the experience while still thinking about how much Kyle would have loved being there.
"Kyle would have loved to go to this game," she remembered thinking, or that he would have enjoyed something they ordered at dinner.
Those reminders don't necessarily take away the happiness of the moment. But the sadness is never entirely absent, either.
Other days, grief feels as though it's racing ahead of her, particularly when she knows an emotionally difficult occasion is approaching.
That was how she felt leading up to Kyle's celebration of life.
Samantha Busch Opens Up About Moments That Still Leave Her 'Wrecked'
Samantha said staying busy with work, meetings and content creation sometimes allows her to feel more like herself. In those moments, she imagines herself moving ahead of the grief car.
But a conversation with her children can change everything.
"There's days that, like, Lennix or Brex will ask a question or tell something about Kyle, or just something will trigger me, and it's like I'm totally wrecked, right? Like, in the wall, crashed out."
It's an especially poignant comparison coming from someone who spent years watching her husband compete at NASCAR's highest level.
Still, Samantha said there are moments when grief seems to disappear temporarily, particularly when she's surrounded by family and friends.
"Grief takes a pit stop," she explained. "And you're like, I'm OK for a minute."
That temporary relief has helped her recognize that feeling happy again doesn't mean she's forgetting Kyle.
It's a realization she also shared in the caption accompanying her video.
"Grief is something I'm still learning to navigate every single day," Samantha wrote. "Some days I feel strong, and others it completely knocks the wind out of me. I'm learning that moving forward doesn't mean leaving Kyle behind, and finding moments of joy doesn't mean I miss him any less."
Kyle died in May 2026, leaving behind Samantha and their two children. Since then, she has shared glimpses of the family's efforts to navigate life without him, including the emotional celebration of life held in his honor.
Her latest video wasn't simply another tribute. It was an attempt to explain what grief feels like on an ordinary day, when life continues even as the loss remains.
Samantha acknowledged that she doesn't have all the answers, but hopes speaking openly might help someone else.
"If sharing my journey helps even one person feel a little less alone in theirs, then it's worth opening up about," she wrote.
And perhaps the most powerful part of her racing analogy is that there isn't a finish line.
For Samantha, the challenge isn't outrunning grief. It's learning to keep going, no matter where that other car happens to be.
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