Why some people rehearse what to say before phone calls, according to psychology

You need to call your doctor to book an appointment, ask a colleague for an update or speak to a customer care executive. Before dialling, you mentally practise the first sentence.

You think about what the other person might ask, how you should respond and how to end the conversation without making it awkward. Sometimes, you rehearse the same opening line several times before finally pressing the call button. For some people, this is simply a way to organise their thoughts. For others, it may reflect discomfort with unpredictable conversations, a fear of being misunderstood or concern about how they will come across.

The reasons can vary, and rehearsing a phone call does not automatically mean someone is anxious.

They may want to feel prepared for an unpredictable conversation

Unlike a text message, a phone call gives you little time to edit your words. The other person can interrupt, ask an unexpected question or respond in a way you did not anticipate. You have to listen and think of an answer at the same time. Rehearsing can make the conversation feel more manageable. A person might prepare the main point they want to communicate, keep important details in mind or practise how to ask a difficult question.

Research has identified telephone anxiety as a form of communication apprehension. A 1990 study published in Management Communication Quarterly developed and tested a measure of telephone apprehension across five studies. The researchers examined how discomfort about telephone communication related to people's phone use. The research established that anxiety about phone calls could be studied as a distinct communication-related concern.

However, preparation and anxiety are not the same thing. Someone may rehearse because they want to be clear and efficient, especially when discussing work, money or a personal matter.

They may worry about saying the wrong thing

Some people are less concerned about what they need to say than about how the other person will interpret it. They may worry about sounding rude, asking a foolish question, forgetting an important detail or being unable to respond quickly.

This can be particularly noticeable when calling a senior colleague, speaking to someone they do not know well or raising an uncomfortable subject.A 2023 study published in Communication Research Reports, examined factors associated with anxiety about telephone conversations. The researchers found a positive relationship between digital communication use and telephone anxiety. This relationship was stronger among people who were not native speakers of English.

The study also found that telephone anxiety was associated with a preference for other forms of communication.

The findings suggest that comfort with phone calls can be influenced by communication habits and language-related concerns. Someone who is confident expressing themselves through messages may feel less prepared when they have to respond instantly in a conversation. That does not mean everyone who prefers texting is socially anxious.

It simply shows that different communication formats can feel easier or harder for different people.

Rehearsing can sometimes make the anxiety worse

Preparing a few points before a call can be useful. But repeatedly imagining how the conversation might go can also create more opportunities to worry. A person may begin by practising one sentence and then start thinking about everything that could go wrong. What if the other person sounds irritated? What if they ask something unexpected? What if there is an awkward silence? Research on anticipatory processing has explored this pattern.

A 2003 paper examined how people with higher and lower levels of social anxiety thought about upcoming social situations. The researchers investigated whether these patterns of thinking could contribute to anxiety before an interaction. For example, preparing three questions before calling a doctor can make the call easier. Mentally replaying every possible response for half an hour may leave someone feeling less confident about making it.

They may prefer having control over their words

Written communication gives people time to pause, edit and choose their words. A phone call removes some of that control because the conversation unfolds in real time. People who rehearse may therefore prefer to know how they want to begin and what information they need to share. This can be especially useful when the call involves a complaint, a request for help or a conversation they have been putting off.

without scripting every word

A few simple changes can help make calls feel less demanding.

Rehearsing a phone call can reflect careful planning, a desire to communicate clearly or discomfort with unpredictable conversations. Sometimes, several of these reasons overlap. The habit alone cannot tell you whether someone is shy, anxious, a perfectionist or simply organised. What matters more is how the person feels before the call and whether the preparation helps them communicate or keeps them from doing so.