Acclaimed producer, writer, and showrunner Mara Brock Akil began going gray slowly, right before she turned 30. Akil first noticed a few gray hairs while working on the set of her hit show, Girlfriends.
“I love telling this story,” the producer tells Bazaar. “I was 29, and there were five of them, literally five, and I used to joke that they were named Tracy, Golden, Persia, Jill, and Reggie. I was producing Girlfriends, and I've since learned I was the youngest showrunner then, and you don’t know sometimes—naïveté—but you jump into this role not realizing how intense it was, what I was really taking on. What it takes to produce these ideas, these stories, and I saw five gray hairs at 29, and I was like, ‘What the heck?’”
Mara Brock Akil
No matter your age, when you notice pigment loss in your hair follicles, the shift from your natural brown, blond, or red hair to gray or silver can feel jarring and unexpected. It’s no secret that gray hair often has a negative connotation, with the shade being viewed as a sign of old age and reduced vibrancy, though that isn’t always the case. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, hair typically starts graying in midlife, usually in your 30s and 40s, and is often triggered by stress, oxidative damage, or genetics. “My hair started turning gray in my mid- to late thirties, pretty much after I became a mom,” says celebrity makeup artist Pati Dubroff. “I think there has been, and maybe still is to some extent, a stigma that women with gray hair are ‘over the hill,’ or that going gray is aging and somehow takes away your youthfulness. I don’t believe that.”
Pati Dubroff poses with actress Elizabeth Olsen
Because gray hair is often wiry and fragile, a consistent, effective care routine is key to maintenance, whether you have a few noticeable strands or a full head of silver. Celebrity colorist Kadi Lee, who works with stars like Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, as clients, says that when transitioning hair, it’s important to keep strands strong and hydrated, since they likely carry two different textures at once.
“Deep conditioning should be a regular part of the routine, since regrowth is more porous and needs consistent moisture,” she says. “Our Instant Silk Vitality Mask delivers hydration without weighing down newer growth. Scalp care is also vital during transitional periods since healthy regrowth starts at the follicle, so our Root Replenish Active Growth Serum helps support hair through that process.” Lee also advises those transitioning to gray to avoid products with too much protein, as the ingredient can weigh down hair and sometimes even cause delicate strands to snap.
Shop the Best Products for Gray Hair
When transitioning from professional or box-dyed hair color to gray or silver shades, experts say you don’t necessarily need a “big chop” to speed it up. “A cut can help remove some of the older color, but each person is different,” continues Lee. “I generally lean toward a gradual approach instead, using regular trims to slowly cut away processed ends while glosses or temporary color ease the visual transition in the meantime.” Temporary color, which deposits pigment on the surface of hair, and hair glosses, like dpHue’s Color Boosting Gloss+ Deep Conditioning Treatment, add a sheer layer of tone and boost shine without lifting or altering the internal structure as permanent color does. “One of my big tips is to be patient with the transition,” notes Dubroff. “When I decided to flip the switch and go from brunette with touched-up roots to gray, it was a long process. Getting that dark, dyed hair lighter without it becoming very, very brassy is tricky, and there can be a lot of damage.” Hair glosses typically last up to six weeks, and temporary color often fades in a couple of washes.
For those who don’t feel quite ready to fully embrace their changing hair tone outright, opting for a treatment, like professional gray blending, is completely understandable. “Hair color can do more than cover gray. It can also support an intentional transition, which is a beautiful option for someone who doesn't want to cut off her hair or let the gray grow in all at once,” says Shvonne Perkins, hair color and trend expert at Madison Reed. “Mostly lowlights in varying shades of her natural color, with a few highlights mixed in (not traditional lightener-only highlights), can help diffuse the demarcation line and blend incoming gray for a softer, more gradual transition.” Perkins adds that to maintain hair color for more than a few washes, demi-permanent dyes can be a longer-lasting option when shifting to gray. “Its translucent deposit respects the natural variation in the hair, can create an almost naturally highlighted effect, and lets some of the gray show through,” she says.
As champions of gray hair, Akil and Dubroff agree that as beautiful and singular as the color can be at any age, a common challenge of owning your gray is a washed-out appearance that may occur without hair pigmentation. Dubroff uses her makeup artist background to incorporate more color in the form of rosy blush, pigmented lip shades, and more to her face. Akil uses her wardrobe—from her eyeglasses to vibrant and even gray-toned pieces—to contrast with her hair color. Ultimately, both women say letting their gray hair thrive has helped them feel more connected to their authentic selves today. “I really love my gray hair journey. I think it really makes you look at yourself,” says Akil. “What I think people might see of me is not just my gray hair, which I do think is beautiful. It's how it's anchored in me—my self-acceptance.”
Meet the Experts:
- Mara Brock Akil is a celebrated producer, author, and writer based in Los Angeles.
- Pati Dubroff is a celebrity makeup artist based in Los Angeles.
- Kadi Lee is a celebrity colorist and hair expert based in Los Angeles and the founder of Highbrow Hippie.
- Shvonne Perkins is a hair color and trend expert at Madison Reed.
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