YES! Case of seniors brawling over missing dildo has happy ending

A pair of oldsters who brawled over a missing dildo has come to a satisfactory conclusion.

The big dildo drama sent bad vibrations humming through the Florida trailer park the antagonists called home.

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Stanley Spink, 71, and Sheila Pavelec, 66, came to blows over the sex toy-related fracas in their Fruitland Park residence. According to the Smoking Gun, while “the evidence is legally sufficient,” prosecutors chose not to pursue felony battery charges against the couple.

Conviction at trial ‘unlikely’

One prosecutor noted that “the facts of the case make conviction at trial unlikely” and a “continued prosecution would not be an appropriate use of resources.” So the sex toy tempest stemming from a mid-June confrontation was not worthy of more court time and resources.

The website reported that Spink and Pavelec had been dating for more than a year and the long-in-the-tooth lovebirds got engaged last May. Subsequently, the couple shacked up in Spink’s trailer in the Lake Griffin Isles mobile home community.

But new love can be fleeting and local cops were dispatched to the park one morning in June “in reference to a physical altercation,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Both parties fingered the missing dildo as the culprit in their trials and tribulations. Spink alleged that his fiancé “was upset because she could not locate her dildo” and blamed him “for stealing it.”

Did future hubby steal her dildo?

For her part, Pavelec claimed to bemused cops that her future spouse “stole her dildo and she cannot locate it.”

The matter turned red hot as a verbal slugfest turned violent with Pavelec allegedly slapping her paramour in the head. For his part, Spink forcefully grabbed her left forearm with the bride-to-be left with a “red abrasion.”

Both were then booked into the county jail for battery on a person 65 years and older, a third-degree felony.

The couple were initially barred from having contact with one another but a judge granted a defence motion requesting that the pair be allowed to hook up.

However, questions remain in the case of the dildo disappearance: Where is the sex toy in question and also, is the wedding still on?

Ramping up the speculation is the fact that the couple live in an adults-only compound called The Villages that is notorious for its swinging elders. One rumour was that players could signal they were ready for sex by flying a loofah on their golf carts.

One elderly woman and two men were arrested after they were pinched engaging in a sexual three-way in the town fountain.

Public sex, indecent exposure

In other incidents, park manager Margaret “Peggy” Klemm, 68, and David Bobily, 49, were arrested on June 2, 2014, and later sentenced to six months in jail for public sex and indecent exposure at Lake Sumter Landing Market Square.

James Adams, 47, and Charm Gilbert, 40, were busted on Oct. 1, 2014, for indecent exposure and disturbing the peace after being caught having public sex on an electrical box near The Villages Regional Hospital.

bhunter@postmedia.com

@HunterTOSun

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